comfort watching is inner child work tbh
Soooo I classify myself as an “expert comfort watcher.” It’s in my Letterboxd bio and everything. Cinephile is a big word, but do I love film? Yes, undoubtedly. So terribly much.
I grew up constantly surrounded by films, and the cinema will always be a magical place for me (heyy Nicole Kidman…). But I have this weird thing where I’m scared to watch new movies. Sometimes I call it my “big movie fear.” Stories have had such a large impact on my life, and have essentially raised me, forming my morals and ethics…so when I sit down to watch a new movie I have a feeling I’d love? I get scared. I get scared of the journey that awaits me, because I know how powerful this medium is, and how much it impacts me emotionally. I guess you could call it the love of the game?
me, og story lover
So I comfort watch, quite a lot. But I feel like sometimes comfort watching gets a bad rap. Yes, I understand the argument that there’s so much more art out there to experience. I feel hungry and overwhelmed by wanting to consume all of it, all the time. Why spend your time “comfort watching”? You’re preventing yourself from experiencing new ideas, new inspirations… I get it. TRUST ME, I get it. You don’t need to tell me how many cult classic films I NEED to watch that I haven’t.
For a while, I think this feeling instilled a lot of shame in me. Somewhere along the way, I started shaming myself for watching the same movies from my childhood over and over again as an adult. But that didn’t lead me to watch more new movies, just fewer movies overall.
Another Cinderella Story, 2008
But I used to rewatch the SAME movies with my sister every single day after getting back home from school. My biggest flex used to be that I could recite the entire first Harry Potter film and probably most of the others (I still can, but it’s a shame J.K. Rowling is simply a massive transphobe). I can also recite almost the entire second A Cinderella Story with young Selena Gomez (MAARYYY BUBBLES NOW!), and reenact the iconic one-sided mirror choreography she does with Drew Seeley (heavy breathing and all).
Barbie Fairytopia: Magic of the Rainbow, 2007
I still find myself craving (many) reruns of all the classic Barbie animated films, of which my favorites were Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses, Swan Lake, Princess Charm School, Diamond Castle, Fairytopia (all of them), Mariposa–the list goes on. I did a rewatch of A Fairy Secret and both Mermaid Tales with my friends on a trip recently, and it brought me so much joy. Some comfort TV watches for me are Gossip Girl, The Vampire Diaries, Pretty Little Liars, Downton Abbey, and BBC’s Merlin.
And I think like many of us, one of my most formative reading eras was the age of the dystopian young adult novel! I kid you not–I probably rewatch all The Hunger Games films at least once or twice a year, as well as Divergent, The Twilight Saga, and many of the others.
me (on floor) and sister (on Nintendo DS), in ready formation in front of our TV
But if I take a deeper look into why I rewatch these movies so often, it comes from a few simple truths. Besides the fact that these books–these stories–kept me company when I was lonely, and instilled some of the greatest morals and values I still hold today, these stories just bring me back to that place: childhood. Rewatching The Hunger Games brings me back to 5th grade, when I voraciously read all 3 books within 4/5 days. Watching Divergent takes me back to its premiere in theaters–I was closing out 6th grade with my friend, hearing Ellie Goulding blare out the end-credits song and exiting the theater feeling dauntless. Every childhood Christmas or New Years was cozily spent watching Harry Potter and fireworks with my sisters. My sister and I would sit down and rewatch a movie almost every single day after getting back from school. We just would. And we didn’t feel any shame about it.
To me, that’s the hidden power of comfort watching. It reminds you of the inner child within. It really is like therapy for your younger self, allowing the joy of indulging in comfort for the sake of it – transporting you to a time where you didn’t have reason yet to feel shame about what you liked, what you disliked, how you spent your time, or your day. Before you were saddled with responsibility, or before you underwent formative trauma, or before you experienced the pieces of media or art helped you through those moments.
It’s a recognition of self, of our purest child self that we carry with us everywhere.
That we are still those children, and those children are still us. We still make decisions based on that little kid’s desires all the time. And sometimes we should! We really should!!
Why are we holding ourselves back from joy? Why do we feel less deserving of indulgence, or fun? Why are we postponing our own happiness? Why do we feel bad for leaning into the things that brought us joy as children, or the things that bring us childlike joy now?
And it doesn’t have to take the form of comfort watching, but I think it’s worthwhile to follow your intuition to do anything that helps you remember the child you once were–and still are.
We are all the ages we’ve ever been, and comfort doesn’t have to be harder to come by just because we’re older.
As adults, we have narratives constantly coming from every direction telling us who we should be, what we should be doing, and how we should be spending our time. But we don’t have to shame ourselves for wanting to listen to the quiet, inner whisperings of our child selves. So little Maris wants you to know that you can rewatch the same movie every day or the same youtube video, play that old video game, search for that old bakery smell, make as many cups of matcha as you want, or hang onto your childhood pillow till it falls apart. No matter how many times you want to watch it, or how many times you need to, the only person you need permission from is your adult—and non-adult—self. <3
