A Daughter and Drag: My Coming Out Story
I was having my weekly catch-up with my mom over the phone when she suddenly asked what I was doing that weekend. I heard a gasp on the other side as soon as I mentioned that I was going to a One Direction-themed drag brunch with a friend.
“Can I go to the next one with you?” she says after a pause.
Let’s rewind to last year. I had always known I liked girls, but it was a part of myself I struggled with. It wasn’tt until after college when I started to date women and make more of a conscious effort to have queer, female friends as well. I realized I had missed out on a sense of happiness by not allowing myself to live authentically. I felt incredibly free and liberated once I made this shift. But despite discovering this remarkably free and beautiful sense of self, I encountered a roadblock: I didn’t know how to express this to my mom.
Being queer is a considerable part of my life and identity. This realization became extremely difficult the more time I spent around my mom. I felt suffocated, like I couldn’t even speak to her without my eyes welling with tears. It peaked when I couldn’t continue my work day, and I rushed over to the house, pleading that I needed to talk to her. I remember being unable to get the words “I like women” without hot tears running down my face.
“Oh, honey, I love you.”
Hearing my mom say she loved me felt like she was finally saying it to my authentic self. The air suddenly felt easier to breathe.
If someone does not know that I am gay, then they do not know me.
While I may not have been open to my mom about my attraction towards women, my love for drag was no secret. Thanks to YouTube, I was exposed to queens such as Willam Beli, Trixie Mattel, and Katya Zamolodchikova. This inevitably led me to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race in high school religiously. My mom would pop in occasionally, laughing at how the queens would talk to one another. One day, in my junior year, my mom came home beaming.
“Wanna see a drag show with me?”
I couldn’t say “yes” fast enough.
She found a posting on her school’s bulletin board that they were hosting a few local queens to perform alongside Kim Chi, a season 8 Drag Race contestant. Not even three hours later, I posed for a picture with her. I’ll never forget how so many queens complimented my Anastasia dip brows that day.
My mom may not have known it then, but this introduction to drag meant the world to me.
Today, drag as an art form continues to be something that I actively seek out and support. Phoenix offers a breadth of nightclubs and event spaces to support local drag artists, my latest favorite being Desert Ridge Improv, the host of the One Direction brunch that featured Drag Queens and Drag Kings. DRI primarily hosts stand-up acts, but by partnering with Flipphone Events, it is now home to many themed drag brunches. There is a show for everyone, from a Charli XCX-themed drag brunch to a Shrek-themed brunch. And if your schedule is free in May, you'll see me and my mom at the Selena drag brunch!
