How I Maintain a Long Distance Friendship

In July my best friend, Adi, moved 800 miles away from sunny Phoenix, to the windy Bay Area. This move was very sudden and I was heartbroken! Someone that I talked to everyday about everything and nothing, is no longer a quick phone call for last minute plans away. I have never been in a long distance romantic relationship, but here I was entering my first long distance friendship.

I am not someone who has had a close relationship with my family, my mom being the only one I talk to and see on a regular basis. For me, my friends make up the entirety of my life and my world. I am very proud to have multiple friendships that have over a decade of history, laughs, tears and memories built together. I go through great lengths to keep my tight knit community in my life.Though my friendship with Adi isn’t ten years worth of history, she is someone who I felt as though I’ve known my entire life.

When Adi and I met, it felt as though my long lost sister had found me. I found someone who had the same little weird thoughts about how the world worked. Another person who couldn’t wait to try the new Vietnamese takeout spot around the corner and taste one of everything. Someone who I could endlessly giggle about how unserious life is, and didn’t mind a weird and off-putting movie night marathon. 

Adi and I both work together at an office job which transitioned to a fully remote position around the time she had moved. Once she moved away, we started a routine of facetiming while we went through our morning workflows. These calls reminded me of our days in the office, our desks next to each other, yapping about our current life dilemmas and new hyperfixations. Her talking about her new favorite brewery she stumbled across on an afternoon walk, and myself a new pottery class I decided to start taking over the weekend. Even the moments of silence were so comforting knowing that my bestie was on the other side. 

A major part of Adi and I’s friendship was our reality tv nights. There’s been countless hours Adi and I have spent discussing and dissecting the dynamics of the toxic Love Island relationships, the social strategies of the players on The Traitors, and if either one of us felt we had enough of a social game to win Big Brother. Those 800 miles distance couldn’t stop us from our joined reality tv obsession, and luckily the current season of Big Brother is the exact mess to be a new endless topic of discussion. We started a new tradition of each of us ordering takeout, and live texting as we watch an episode.

It may sound silly, but these moments make my heart a little less lonely.

My personal favorite remedies to stay in touch with long-distance friends:

• Keep your ritualistic hangouts alive. Order your favorite takeout meals and eat them together on facetime.

• Live reacting to movies/shows. Start with any Big Brother or Love Island season.

• Send letters. Accompanied with little trinkets a la Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

• Scheduling out a weekly call. Perfect for Type A personalities such as myself, and also extremely helpful with conflicting schedules and fast-paced lives. 

Also remember these are your friends, you are never a bother to them for sending a silly photo of an object you found in an antique shop and it reminding you of them.