As the last few days of Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month (APAHM) approach us, I need to confess one thing: I haven’t really thought much about being Asian in a while. That is, until I recently attended a screening for HAAPI Meal , which is a docuseries on Asian American chefs and their stories. I’ve been living in San Francisco for exactly two years now—one of the most densely Asian-populated cities in the United States–and never once did I fully unpack the baggage of a past identity crisis that I lugged from Phoenix all the way to here. But there I was, mentally sorting it all out again as I listened to Chef Nico de Leon ’s speak on his own cultural journey: “I didn’t not identify with my culture, but it wasn’t my first identifier...The Pinoys at my school, we were all friends growing up, but we just didn’t relate other than being Filipino… wasn’t something i was necessarily ashamed of, but i wasn’t necessarily proud.” The last time I consistently thought about “being Asian” was in college.It started at 17 years old, awkward, impressionable and eager to get to college and let it mold me into someone cool. I was clearly still figuring myself out, so I played it safe and joined a community that I was already somewhat familiar with: a Filipino club. I was already familiar with the customs and I came from a pretty traditional immigrant home, so why not? I quickly learned that there is a certain… energy that comes with being involved in student-led cultural orgs. It was a very intense experience. The enthusiasm in every meeting is always high, the determination to outdrink each other is even higher, and their members’ inner social dynamics were scandalous at worst, petty at best. Everything was dramatic and therefore exciting. And their events? It’s like a summer camp and a youth group had a baby on steroids and everything it did was about being Filipino. I ate it all up. Unlike Chef Nico, being Asian became my first (and for a while, only) identifier. It started when I attended my first Friendship Games in 2018. Every fall semester, Filipino college clubs all over California, Arizona, and Nevada hightail it to Cal State Fullerton for the weekend. For one entire day, they compete for an 8-foot tall trophy, the winning team determined by who exemplified the most S.P.U.F. (Spirit, Pride, Unity, and Friendship) through games and performances. It was overwhelming. All this to say, FG showed me what I thought was the prime example of how an Asian American should show pride in their identity: exuberantly, homogeneously, and relentlessly. The more I got involved, I saw how we all had collectively bonded through the same internet memes and forums over and over again, poking fun at the personalities and interests of our peers. The best I can describe this phenomenon is that it’s one big diasporic inside joke that we can refer to as the “American” part of our shared Asian American experience. As someone who wasn’t part of a close-knit community before, it felt really nice to be included for once (even for how ridiculous it might be). I was still a blank canvas, and I had internalized these attitudes into my own social performance. Then COVID-19 hit. I transferred universities and moved back home. All throughout 2020 and well into 2021, the nationwide trend in anti-AAPI hate crimes added a deeper level of trauma to our community during an already extremely isolating and anxiety-riddled time. Once the mask mandate was lifted and we returned to the classrooms two years later, it made sense why (primarily East and Southeast) Asian American young adults began to cling to each other a little more tightly. We sought out solidarity across our groups, and in the process we had revived a more vibrant, stronger sense of pride in our collective identity. I was one of those people. Shortly after lockdown, I became an intern-turned-president for my university’s Asian American student coalition. For a little over two years, I organized online and in-person events, advised 10+ cultural organizations, and guided a team of other students who were also determined to preserve the joy of our community, emboldened by the flames of adversity that we collectively faced barely one year ago. I received awards and gained a reputation that exceeded me. Needless to say, my self confidence soared to levels unimaginable to my freshman year self. The way I carried myself had fundamentally changed, and it clearly influenced the way I approached my personal relationships, schooling, and home life.  In some convoluted way, I had not only subconsciously bought into the idea that being Asian American is a social performance, but had begun to associate it as my primary source of individual power. It enabled me to become the person I had always wished I could be: a leader. My myopic (mis)understanding of what being Asian American meant had served as the unstable yet foundational step that I tried to build the rest of my self worth on. The dawn of my existential crisis arrived on the summer afternoon of a student-led Women’s March in 2021. It was three years after FG, and I had written and given my own speech on gendered and racial violence against AAPI women . At this point, I realized that I no longer had the luxury of being a passive member of a single cultural club; my thoughts were now consumed by everything relating to advocating, representing, and facilitating a sense of “Asian American pride” in my community. From the way I saw it, I couldn’t be a credible "change maker" if my work only focused on the surface-level, “digestible” aspects of our culture. The Asian American experience is not all fun and food and dance and play; there is a darker underbelly of struggle and resilience to acknowledge. Except, I could now barely understand myself. I had to seriously reassess what Asian “pride” actually meant and looked like to me, and not what the behavior of others influenced me to believe. What exactly about being Asian American are we collectively proud of? Other than the heritage that prior generations have passed down to us, what are the greater values and issues that actually influence our shared experience in this country? It wasn’t until I graduated college and removed myself from this impenetrable echo chamber of Asian American social life to understand this: I had fallen for the subconscious idea of Asians tokenizing their ethnicities as a way to both stand out and fit in American society. It was a problem that I couldn’t fix from the inside. It’s a wildly complex, multi-layered topic that is rooted in a history revolving around immigration, civil rights, and the role our community plays in the social hierarchy of other racial groups. There is no single straightforward answer to explain why modern “Asian Americanism” is portrayed the way it is today (but if we’re being honest, TLDR; capitalism and white supremacy are the usual culprits to blame).  The only thing I can do now is put the work into myself. Clearly, I’ve been procrastinating this self reflection for one reason or another - the postgrad reality of life hits hard and holds back on no one. It takes a lot of time to critically dissect dreams and ideas, which is time I don’t always have as an adult who is just trying to make ends meet. But still, I’ve made a lot of progress since then. I feel more secure in who I am now. I don’t look down on the spaces where I spent so much time trying to find myself in, but to Chef Nico’s point, sometimes we have nothing in common as individuals despite our ethnicity, which is completely okay. We can’t rely on a shared heritage to completely bind us as genuine friends, lovers, and partners - and that’s what I wished someone told me from the start. I haven’t thought about being Asian in a while - just not in that way.

Out: Mindless Doom Scrolling; In: Intentional Moodboarding I remember creating my Tumblr account when I was 13 years old. All my friends were on it, and I heard it was the “cooler” version of WeHeartIt (the IT girl social network in 2014, Pinterest’s predecessor). The handle I chose was @/fabxulous, and little did I know that it would be the start of my love for gathering and collecting pretty, aesthetically pleasing pictures and curating a vibe (also taught me how to code HTML and CSS). I was intentional with every reblog and made sure my music player always played the perfect song when someone visited my page. This later progressed into me creating digital boards on Pinterest, physically collaging, and scrapbooking.  Moodboarding is quickly overlooked, but it is an important step in exercising creativity, Lottie Bisou, an art director for Koibird , explained that moodboarding is essentially creating a visual language in her Substack article, Pinterest To Portfolio #2: Moodboards . It is much more than just curating a vibe (as 25-year-old me has learned since my Tumblr days), but the pictures selected are purposeful, it propels and communicates the intended message of your project. Bisou says, “ Think of your moodboard as the bridge between the concept and execution. The blueprint. ”  Here are examples of moodboards I created for Club Rambutan’s upcoming fashion show in San Francisco, The Pyres of Desire . The concept of the show is inspired by the 7 deadly sins:  Creating moodboards is not only reserved for passion projects; it’s just as important to curate moodboards for fun. To me, leisurely moodboarding feels like allowing myself to wander. It encourages creative exploration without the pressure of a specific outcome or deadline. It’s cathartic and helps me better understand my evolving tastes and interests. Over time, these visual collections can even become a reflection of your creative growth. Whether you're scrolling through Tumblr archives, pinning on Pinterest, or saving images to a folder, collecting inspiration just for yourself can be both grounding and creatively fulfilling. For most people, Pinterest is the go-to website when looking for pictures to create moodboards (myself included until recently).  But once Pinterest enters the conversation, we also need to talk about the AI epidemic in creative spaces, and Pinterest has fallen victim. The shift to AI goes beyond the tailored algorithm -- the platform is overrun with AI-generated content. Most users go on Pinterest to look at pretty pictures, seeking visual curation. Pinterest has repositioned itself as an AI-first platform, driven by the significant revenue growth attributed to AI. Pinterest makes money off of promoted pins (paid advertisements), which is why its interface is flooded with advertisements. There is even a “buy it” button that allows users to easily purchase products directly from the platform.  The oversaturation of AI-generated content and the overwhelming amount of advertisements on Pinterest is off-putting. In my search for an alternative, I came across Cosmos —designed for finding and saving inspiration, curating “clusters” (digital boards), and sharing them with others. The site’s user-friendly and aesthetically pleasing interface immediately stood out. Its minimalist design, featuring a neutral black background and modern typography, allows the images to be the focus. I’ve found myself more drawn to the content and photos on Cosmos than those on Pinterest. I also appreciate how it automatically populates a variety of images and still tailors the experience to my interests.  In addition to using the Internet, I like to gain inspiration by flipping through physical media such as old magazines, coffee table books, art books, etc. I have collected a couple of cool magazines and art books I love to flip through for creative inspiration. Over the years, I have realized how important it is to have tangible media and art as we have reached the peak of the digital age. The convenience of technology has diminished the appreciation for collecting physical forms of media; music and movies are all on streaming platforms, and pretty pictures are stuck behind a screen. For fashion inspiration, I love looking through my Vogue Italia March 2000 Issue (fun fact: this is also from my birth month and year), issues of Mildew Magazine (a fashion magazine focused on second-hand fashion) and Wonderful Things by British fashion photographer Tim Walker. For design and visual curation, I love flipping through JAM: Tokyo-London which is a collection of fashion, graphics, photography, music and digital media during the early 2000s from Tokyo and London. In addition to being a fashion girly, I am equally a Sanrio girly and love flipping through Sanrio Design: The 90’s~2010’s for fun. I love to scan the images that catch my eye or resonate with me and incorporate them into a moodboard. When I want to put together a moodboard, rather than just collecting images and creating “clusters” leisurely,  I like to use Canva or Adobe Illustrator . Below are two boards I created using scanned images from one of my favorite magazines: In 2025, mindlessly doom scrolling on Instagram is out, and intentionally moodboarding is in. Discovering and collecting cool pictures leisurely fulfills the creative void, deepens your appreciation for art, and allows you to learn more about yourself. Creating mood boards can even segue into physical mediums such as collaging and scrapbooking. It fosters self-expression and the ability to communicate concepts, thoughts, and feelings visually.

Are we predictable commodities and consumers? How is fashion like the stock market, and how do our contexts shape our creativity?  Okay, okay. I won’t be the first to claim that I’m a fashion girlie (although one can aspire) nor am I anywhere near knowledgeable on stocks or the economy, but I think anyone (especially in creative spaces) understands that we express ourselves on the daily, with fashion and external presentation being some of our primary modes.  Anyone with style will tell you this without saying a word: this is who they are, how they’re feeling, what they’re excited about, what they’re inspired by, what mood they’re trying to evoke, what energy they’re choosing to present. Self-expression is everywhere and in everything. Hair, nails, jewelry, makeup, and of course, clothes. As someone who admires the expert curation of fabrics, textures, patterns, colors, and motifs in an outfit, hearing about the hemline index theory on Instagram sent me into a series of thoughts. What do these trends tell us about how self-expression is impacted by external and uncontrollable factors? Can our externalizations of creativity be that easily predicted?   But what is the hemline index theory ?  It’s an economic theory that suggests skirt lengths rise and fall in conjunction with economic trends, specifically the stock market. Most versions of this theory hypothesize that skirt lengths shorten during periods of prosperity and lengthen during economic recessions. I’ve heard various explanations of why this is, but many correlate feelings of liberation, confidence, and freedom (shorter hemlines) during periods of economic prosperity, and the opposite effect during periods of downturn. Some trace it back to one of the first observable trends in modern fashion history: the short flapper skirts of the 1920s shifting to the longer skirts during the 1930s and the aftermath of the Great Depression. Some theorize that it was cheaper to wear longer skirts because they would hide a lack of expensive silk stockings, which were no longer affordable. The theory has been debunked many times over many years, but is still often used to point toward more complex relationships between fashion, societal conditions, and economics.  In more recent times, some are using this theory to explain the comeback of maxi and midi skirts, and thread throughlines to how this may be part of a wider trend toward conservatism in the 2020s.  Some say this can be observed with conservatism and fashion for women in the 50s, for example, where traditional gender roles, conformity to domestic spheres, and expectations for homemaking dominated female life.  The Lipstick Index Theory functions similarly. It suggests that, in a period of economic downturn or recession, lipstick sales and other ‘affordable luxury’ sales are likely to increase. Vice versa, the theory also suggests that increased sales of lipstick and other lower-cost luxury items may signal an economic downturn. This was first observed by Leonard Lauder at Estee Lauder during the 2000s economic downturn following 9/11 . It is hypothesized that during economic hardship, many consumers still desire the feeling of being able to attain luxuries and indulgences, so they turn to lower-cost luxuries (e.g. nail polish and lipstick) rather than traditional luxury fashion and accessories. People may splurge on luxury cosmetics or ‘personal care’ items they usually wouldn’t rather than on bags and clothing that could break the bank. This allows feelings of wellness, security, and luxury in one’s life despite surrounding economic conditions.  We still want to feel like we have the breathing room to be creative and indulgent, which is difficult to do within the boundaries of our finances.  Both of these patterns make inherent sense to me, not because human creativity is predictable, but because, despite our creative efforts, we all belong within and are shaped by the contexts in which we live.  My easiest reference points are authors. We wouldn’t have the novels of Ernest Hemingway or George Orwell if the world didn’t experience the harrowing effects of war or fascism, nor would we have the novels of F. Scott Fitzgerald without the economic boom of the 1920s. This could be argued about art born out of many historical contexts, if not all: The Renaissance, the Counter Culture of the 60s, the Harlem Renaissance. Art is shaped by history and shapes history all at once. Artists always respond to the current moment and shape the next. They are defined by their present and their past, and pave new cultures and movements into existence.  All this to say: our self-expression and creativity are not cynically limited or predictable like stocks on an index fund. These are just theories after all, and nothing can predict human behavior with certainty. But yes, it’s crazy to think that the choices we make in private when we open our closets are affected by the great ol’ economy. However, it sure makes sense to me that in a capitalist *hellscape* our resources are scarce. And meeting our basic needs will influence our decisions. It’s a tool of survival. And this includes safety too–nobody (at least, I think) is intentionally choosing a maxi skirt over a mini because they are consciously thinking about an economic recession or a trend towards conservatism. But it feels safer to take fewer risks in our day-to-day lives when so much around us is uncertain and remains out of our control. A desire for stability, and even to rely on ‘tradition,’ makes sense in a time where most people have to watch their spending on food and basic needs. We can subconsciously choose to shelter ourselves or even conform to notions of ‘acceptability’ because we don’t want to lose our jobs, our homes, or our security–we can barely get those in the first place! But the way that creativity and self-expression survive throughout any historic or economic conditions, I think, is pretty predictable. I look forward to reading what they have to write in books about our current moment, in history, in fashion, in art, in everything. I thought I couldn’t examine any of these theories in my life at first, but my 3 maxi skirts and impulsively-purchased $40 lipstick could say otherwise. What about you? :)

I haven’t been to many shows in my life; I can count the number of concerts/shows I’ve gone to on one hand. I’ve lived in Midtown for almost two years and haven’t taken advantage of the music venues in my own backyard. I decided to challenge myself for May and attend three shows, all of which I do not know the artist. My only criterion for attending these shows was that they all had to be under $30 a ticket. I was mesmerized by La Luz and was pleasantly surprised when Shana returned for an encore. She performed a melodic and dreamy closer with just her and her guitar (I later found out this song was Blue Jay). Since the show, I’ve had their 2024 album, New of the Universe , on repeat. She alternated between an electric and acoustic guitar, her serene voice complementing each instrument. With each note she sang, I felt her pure heartbreak, love, loss, rage, and angst. During her performance of Fist, I began crying as the song went on. Her vulnerability and storytelling capabilities, combined with the ugliness that the end of a romantic relationship can take, touched me.  If La Luz felt like I was at a lakeside party with aliens, Miya Folick had transported me to the Bronze from an early season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer , swaying under the moonlight with both eyes closed and letting each note consume me. 5/15 Florist , $17 @ Valley Bar The last stop on my journey through Valley Bar’s showlist was the New York-based band Florist! Their sound was reminiscent of slow, folky, alternative music of Bob Dylan, yet with hints of contemporary experimental styles of bedroom pop. The entire venue swayed along to lead singer Emily Sprague’s sweet melodies. For an hour, I was in the clouds between awake and dreaming, and I didn’t want to leave. It was a bittersweet ending to my month of new music. I ended my journey of finding new music with a deep appreciation for live performances and fell in love with each of these artists, who I would’ve never discovered otherwise. Each of these artists were so different from one another, bringing a different energy on stage with them and crafting their own relationship with each audience. I danced, cried, dreamed, and laughed. This will definitely be a monthly occurrence.

Guess what? The Rambutan Roundup has gotten its first official coupon code. If you have a deep, underlying hunger for any of the following services from Great Wall Chinese Medicine …a woman and immigrant owned business…  Head Spa / Full Body Massage / Foot Spa / Face & Head Massage Traditional Acupuncture Moxibustion Cupping (Ba Guan) / Moving Cupping TuiNa - Chinese Medical Massage Medical Reflexology Scraping (Gua Sha) Infrared Lighting / Electric Stimulation / Ultrasound Manual Therapy (Zheng Gu) You can get 25% off by using our code, CLUBR25 , through booking online here. I know this is so out of character for me… Chinese medicine? Just kidding, probably super in character. So, to really set the scene, my roommate and I went to this particular Chinese medicine spa and clinic because our friend works there as a receptionist/everything woman. We were dropping off matcha for her, said hello, and suddenly, her mother appeared and smiled behind our friend. Uh oh , I’m sure both me and my roommate thought. What does she want to do to us this time? Side note - my roommate and I have been in this situation before, so we should have known better. Last time, they took professional photos of hot stones on my back and I could hear the click of the camera when it was happening. See photo. It turns out her mom, Dr. Qingsong Xiao, wanted to perform Chinese fire cupping** on us. I’ve never been cupped in my life, much less Chinese fire cupped! They (her mom) say it’s supposed to help draw out and eliminate pathogenic factors such as wind, cold, damp and heat. There’s also supposed to be respiratory benefits through improving lung function and reducing congestion - great for people who have nicotine related issues. Athletes are also freaks for it, if you’ve noticed.  And who are we to say no to our friend’s mom, who has a doctorate in Chinese medicine? **I went to go look up how Great Wall Chinese Medicine described traditional fire cupping and instead found this reel of what suspiciously looks like my back on their instagram. Enjoy. A little more about Dr. Qingsong Xiao… she’s got an unbelievable resume. She’s a 33rd generation Shaolin Qi Gong healer. Do you know how crazy that is? It’s give or take an 800 to 1000 year old practice, depending on how you count a generation. From my research (googling “what dynasty was around 1100 CE”), that was the Song Dynasty era of China, right before Genghis Khan conquered China. GENGHIS KHAN? Back to the cupping of it all, my friend and her mother popped them on me, went to go put the cups on my roommate, came back four minutes later and said, “Oh! That got really dark really fast.” And of course, I said the silliest thing ever in this sort of situation.  “It really can’t be that bad.” Turns out, as always, yes it can. It looked like a giant squid had risen up and enacted a personal vendetta against me.  Dr. Xiao told me that I had “a lot of fire" that she needed to draw out, and to come back in two weeks. My roommate on the other hand, had the cups on for 10 minutes and came out with barely a suction mark. I’m not even posting a photo of her because it’s embarrassing how light hers are compared to mine. Sometimes life is unfair, and your roommate has less fire inside and less wetness in her lungs, despite you living in the same place and doing many of the same activities together.  Well, I highly recommend getting Chinese fire cupped, despite looking like a squid attacked me - it suctioned all the tension and my greatest worries right out of me. The drive home was amazing. Shout out to my friend's mom and ancient China.

Southwest Winds bringing the classic game of mahjong to Phoenix For many Asian Americans, this centuries-old game was played by many of our family members while growing up, and what better way to honor the tradition by continuing it in our local cities? Across the world, the game of mahjong has become the hip new social night in places like Los Angeles , Brooklyn , Amsterdam , Toronto , and now Phoenix. This club initially began as a local friend group hosting games at their apartments. Sam Geiser , the original host of these games, brought more and more people in until the interest became too strong to host in their apartment’s shared space. I grew up around mahjong sets, and I learned that even though it is indeed a game, the titas (aunties) did not play around. This was a ladies night, so all their husbands and kids knew that they had to find something else to do as their family matriarchs indulged in friendly competition and, of course, tsismis (gossip). When Sam started these get-togethers, they had the same thing in mind. How often do we get to see our friends with such busy schedules? How often do we casually make new ones? As our weeks get full with other commitments, having a consistently set date, time, and place to meet helped us fortify the relationships we’ve built at the mahjong table. In September 2024, the Southwest Winds Mahjong Club started hosting game nights at Central Records , which is a local bar, coffee, and record shop located in the heart of Downtown Phoenix on Central Avenue and Garfield Street. The club has welcomed new players of varying experience each month, all of whom share a common goal: make friends and play mahjong. Interested in playing mahjong? The Southwest Winds Mahjong Club has an Instagram: @swwmahjong . You can keep up-to-date on their socials or swing by to Central Records every third Thursday to see the vibes. Anyone is welcome to observe, shadow a player, or just jump right into it! There’s no judgement on knowing the rules since everyone is here to learn and connect. Since March 2025, I’ve taken over hosting Southwest Winds Mahjong Club! feel free to hmu about upcoming events! :D So… how do you play mahjong? (Southwest Winds style) Four players are sitting in front of a wall of 26 tiles. The dealer of the game is decided by each player rolling a pair of dice and whoever has the highest is chosen. This person then rolls the dice again and from that number, counts the walls in a counterclockwise motion and deals the tiles out until each player has 13 and the dealer has 14. Each player looks at their tiles and decides which ones have potential to keep or dispose. The dealer starts the game by disposing of a tile. The player to their right continues, and so forth. Each player is looking to have consecutive or matching sets of tiles outlined in the images below. Since the mahjong night is just growing, this novice version of the game is the standard across the tables- without the gambling and points counting. Rest-assured, there is still lots of emotion when it comes to losing or winning the game. As players get more comfortable with each other throughout the night, the question of “whose turn is it” becomes more frequent. It’s a beautiful way of seeing the conversations flow and strangers getting to know each other. What’s next for Southwest Winds? The club meets every Third Thursday of the month at Central Records from 6:30 - 9:30 p.m. This past month, the club featured local artists SOOJUNG and kaiyvan to perform a loungey vibe to the ambiance. The keyboard and vocals duo performed songs by SOOJUNG, a song mashup of Lizzy McAlpine and Wicked, the Cranberries, and much more. The club is looking for performing artists as part of this new addition to the monthly game night. In anticipation of May’s mahjong night, the search for a lineup consisting of Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) artists is in the works.  If you’re reading this and interested in performing a DJ or vocal set, you can send a message to their Instagram! SOOJUNG and kaiyvan perform as mahjong players listen and play

I was having my weekly catch-up with my mom over the phone when she suddenly asked what I was doing that weekend. I heard a gasp on the other side as soon as I mentioned that I was going to a One Direction-themed drag brunch with a friend.   “Can I go to the next one with you?” she says after a pause. Let’s rewind to last year. I had always known I liked girls, but it was a part of myself I struggled with. It wasn’tt until after college when I started to date women and make more of a conscious effort to have queer, female friends as well. I realized I had missed out on a sense of happiness by not allowing myself to live authentically. I felt incredibly free and liberated once I made this shift. But despite discovering this remarkably free and beautiful sense of self, I encountered a roadblock: I didn’t know how to express this to my mom. If someone does not know that I am gay, then they do not know me. Today, drag as an art form continues to be something that I actively seek out and support. Phoenix offers a breadth of nightclubs and event spaces to support local drag artists, my latest favorite being Desert Ridge Improv, the host of the One Direction brunch that featured Drag Queens and Drag Kings. DRI primarily hosts stand-up acts, but by partnering with Flipphone Events, it is now home to many themed drag brunches. There is a show for everyone, from a Charli XCX-themed drag brunch to a Shrek-themed brunch. And if your schedule is free in May, you'll see me and my mom at the Selena drag brunch! Desert Ridge Improv Events Page Host of DRI Drag Brunch, Espressa Grande IG

I believe that 90% of my problems could be solved by taking a deep breath, closing my eyes, and putting the phone down. Yes, the people you sleep with or have romantic inclinations for can be all consuming in your mind. But do you know what’s making that worse? Being addicted to your phone and stalking their IG stories and Spotify playlists. BE BETTER! (Not me though I haven’t done that in ages #healed.) The question is, why do people have to watch videos while eating? Why does my roommate need to have the celebrity Great British Bakeoff in the background of everything? Why is my other roommate addicted to Youtube Shorts? Why do I know multiple people who will put on a Youtube video to eat in a restaurant, while with a group?  We’re suffering from too much stimulation, as our little minds can only handle so much. I genuinely think I need a timed lock box for my phone while I’m at work, but unfortunately, I am required to use social media - I’m between a rock and a hard place. Never get into influencer marketing or social media if you want to have a healthy screen time. How do you fix this? First off, I don’t know. Here’s what my roommates and I have tried to varying degrees of success: We’ve been trying to implement something we’re lovingly calling, “Morning Meditation,” where we sit on our balcony with no phones and nothing but each other. This has been going on for the past week or two, and it’s been quite good so far, unless it’s too close to 9 AM (when I start work). I’ll feel an innate need to check my phone and keep it nearby due to a fear of missing an important message, which defeats the whole purpose. My roommate has taken some other drastic measures by deleting Instagram and TikTok. She warns that if you do this, you will freak out in the bathroom because you have nothing to do. I’m not able to try this one as aforementioned, but when I had an internship in influencer marketing back in the day (2022), I would delete Instagram and TikTok every night and redownload it in the morning before work. This was somewhat effective because I was on a Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule, and got chunks of time away from social media.  When doing work, some friends and I have tried trading phones so that we can focus solely on the task at hand. This works extremely well when in a group of two, and has diminishing returns as more people are added. The temptation to talk is too high. I’ve added an automation to my phone that changes my screen to greyscale at 11:30 PM and back to normal at 7:30 AM. Part of the reason why it’s so hard to put the phone down is because of the colors and blue light! This is probably one of the most successful things I’ve done to help myself get better rest, but you need to have enough self control to not go into your settings and turn it off. Just a teensy bit of discipline.  Another one my roommate has tried is “microdosing on boredom,” which just means that she doesn’t listen to music all the time when doing tasks. For example, when washing her face or showering, she now does it in silence. I’ve also had a friend get rid of their Spotify Premium so that they couldn’t listen to music they wanted all the time. Personally, this has never been a huge issue for me so I can’t say whether microdosing boredom truly works or not.  PLEASE let me know if you’ve tried anything else and if it’s worked.

Welcome to Club Rambutan’s Breaking it Down (BID) series, where we shed light on the different areas of operations that make our organization the following three things: A Creative Collective (Event Planning, Social Media, Rambutan Roundup Newsletters) A Digital Residency (Cohorts, Artist Resource Group (ARG), Artist Alumni) A Magazine (Formatting, Shipping Logistics, Packaging Design) This article will explain a major social aspect of Club Rambutan’s creative collective, the Rambutan Roundup Newsletters (RR for short). You might be wondering: "If Club Rambutan already has a magazine, why do you also have newsletter?" Our magazine comes out every 6-7 months. This is about the same amount of time for one cohort to complete its cycle through our digital artist residency. By the end of this term, the respective cohort's issue is published, meaning each of the artists' original projects and interviews are finally revealed. However, half a year is a looooooong time to work in silence. Our monthly newsletter lets the CR team bridge this gap by engaging with our followers in a more fun, frequent (and more candid) manner. The RR also gives a chance to our internal Club Rambutan team members to share more about ourselves, too! This might sound counterintuitive, but we believe that a "successful" creative collective is one whose members are already active in other pre-existing art communities around them. Anyone can make, lead, and own something if all they want to do is to prove that they could. But to truly unite and move people - especially through art - such an organization only grows stronger from what its learned from others, and in the process, itself. Our mission is purely based on a collaborative approach (just read our 3 guiding values on the bottom of our home page). Skill sharing , being a villager , and representing a higher purpose are not only the standards we use to select our cohort artists, but it's also what we look for in our team members to uphold. With that being said, the RR also lets us explore and immerse ourselves in our neighboring creative scenes. Our writers often go out and attend, interview, and review local events, businesses, organizations, and current events and trends. Our platform may be small, but we're keen to spread the word about other initiatives that align with our mission. “OK, but why are there TWO newsletters?” There are currently two cities that the Rambutan Roundup focuses its content on: San Francisco & Phoenix. This is because these locations are where our in-person teams (“branches”) are based in. To clarify: our cohort artists can be based anywhere in the world, but that’s only because our artist residency is completely online (and so are the team members of our Artist Resource Group). Right now, our newsletters help us build stronger relationships with our community members in our respective branches. Since Cohort 4, we've garnered a larger number of social media followers who aren't based in either city, so the immediate goal is to improve RR infrastructure so that we can create newsletter content that doesn't exclude them. “How many writers do y’all have?” Currently, we have two Managing Editors, one for each city. There can be anywhere between one to three other Content Writers for each branch that report up to them. The Editor in Chief may also occasionally write for either newsletter depending on the capacity of each M.E. (keep in mind we are all 100% volunteers), and we have one Newsletter Designer, too. At the end of each month, the Newsletter Designer takes the final articles (which are individually published on this site under the menu option, the rambutan roundup ), and formats them all onto Substack. Substack is the literal newsletter where all the articles are “packaged” in for their respective city and month, and are then distributed via an email blast to our subscribers. You can subscribe to the newsletters via our Linktree . Our squad works together to brainstorm ideas and share all the fun stuff going on around us that month. And we have the flexibility to write editorial content, too! It just has to be pre-approved by the Editor in Chief first. Interested? Shoot us your questions at hello@clubrambutan.com. We also post team openings regularly on our Instagram ( @club.rambutan ). Good luck!

“This is the most outside I’ve seen the bay be in a long ass time” - GP Pabros, Cohort 3 artist And indeed it was. For starters, Friday was Valentine’s Day. Restaurants and bars were crowded more than usual, and date nights and “ galentine ” celebrations kicked off the weekend for many people. It was also All-Star Weekend in the Bay Area. Athletes and other random celebrities were dropping in on the city to show face at afterparties. Basketball fans and party people were flooding the sidewalks to clubs everywhere north of SOMA. Oh, and did I mention the Chinese New Year parade was going on, too? Thousands of people are taking BART into the city to see basketball games in action or watch the floats drive down the streets of Chinatown. Even MUNI anticipated the chaos because it made its light rail and bus services free the entire weekend.  In one way or another, almost everybody was out and about Saturday night. But for 70 of us, it was a very special day for Club Rambutan - it was Launch Day for 03: The Identity Issue . February 15, 2025 would date an incredible milestone not only for the collective itself but the SF team specifically, as it would be the first time Club Rambutan would host TWO launch parties - on the same day - in two different cities, which also officially debuted our freshly-formed San Francisco branch that was put together in September 2024. All other launch parties before this were hosted in Phoenix, Arizona, where Club Rambutan’s founding team is based. I drove early to safariii CAMP’s Oakland warehouse to set up for the event. Ricky greeted me at the door and we began setting up for the big day to come.  “where’s maria?” “she’s stuck in traffic lol” It looked like it was up to us two to set up for the time being. At least we also had Amal and Adeeb from safariii CAMP to help us out. Ricky and I glanced between the floor plan and the venue space to move the furniture around. Couch over here. Tables over there. We were setting up as best as we could. You could hear my sigh of relief once I finished setting up the projector after looking at the manual a dozen times. Raim, Maria, and Sonia eventually beat the Bay Bridge traffic and the excitement is building. The team huddled around the merchandise table as we glanced at the newest issue of the magazine. It was the first time that most of us SF team members had seen it in person. Come to find out, Maria had to rush to her local USPS to pick up the magazines less than two hours before the event because she missed the initial delivery to her house the night before while she was out for Valentine’s Day. Crazy weekend, I know. Bound by metal spiral clips and variously shaped pages inside, I could already tell the magazine took a while to put together. Maria emphasized that 03 was structurally unique compared to its previous sister issues, and unlike Issue 1 (which was a staple-bound zine of 60-something sheets of printer paper) and Issue 2 (a perfect-bound, 120+ page coffee table-like book), Issue 3 was trimmed, hole-punched, and assembled completely by hand by the Phoenix team. Each copy also includes a FREE detachable 10x16 inch poster of Ashya Joselle’s (a featured Philadelphia-based artist from Cohort 3) exclusive project. As DJ Skolastik Bookfair started to spin and set the mood, guests began to trickle into the venue. Some took a seat on the couches and chatted amongst themselves, while others sat at the collage table and got to work finding snippets and cutouts to paste onto their creation. Some headed towards the back and treated themselves to some wine and complimentary snacks, such as beloved Filipino desserts like ube pastillas and hopia and raspberry and creme-flavored Kit Kat candies.  As the night went on, the collage table seemed to be a hit. The National Geographic magazines and colored pencils were spread across the table and everyone was focused on the task at hand. It was cool to see everyone and their different creations. Caricature artist Dahlia Margate was meticulously sketching and drawing paintings for guests. DJ 4DHILA started her set midway through the night, and her hype woman cheered her on by the turntable as she played some Bay Area classics that got the crowd real excited. At last, Maria, Raim, and Sonia introduced themselves to our guests and shared the hard work they put into making this event happen. That’s when it hit me: the last few months of work that we all had put into this magazine, the foundation of the newest San Francisco team, writing for our new newsletter, and networking throughout the Bay Area had led to this night. From September 2024 to this month, we got to work with incredible artists from around the world who made up Cohort 3, meet and spotlight other local Bay Area artists doing incredible work of their own, and come together to celebrate a night where we can continue to express ourselves whether through music, through collaging, through reading.  At least that’s what I thought about while grubbing on my al pastor quesadilla downstairs. NOTE FROM MARIA Were you unable to attend our Oakland launch? Or are you wondering if we’ll have any more events in the future? Fear not! Although both Club Rambutan teams always go on a month-long hiatus after the conclusion of each cohort and publication of its resulting issue, you can rest assured that launch parties are always regularly scheduled celebrations to look forward to. We are also starting to draft up plans for a much larger and formal creative event to bring to SF, too (hint: it rhymes with “passion glow”). All announcements are posted on our Instagram and newsletter , so be sure to give us a follow there as well! And last thing: be sure to read the long-form interviews for our Cohort 3 artists below. These were written by the Rambutan Roundup newsletter squad, which is Felix Dong, Maya Johnson, Percy Humphrey, and yours truly. And grab a copy of 03: The Identity Issue while you’re at it! Laura Mae Williams Ashya Joselle Gianpaolo Pabros Destiny Ann Montoya Emilia Nawrocki Marisa Musing Isabel Li

Where were you on February 15th? If it wasn’t at Gracie’s Tax Bar between the hours of 5 PM to 2 AM, then I don’t want to hear it. Why? Club Rambutan teamed up with Sessions PHX to bring an unforgettable night of love, laughter and labour (we set up at 3 PM) at every alternative person’s favorite bar, Gracie’s. And yes, we all had opps there.  Since it was the day after Valentine’s Day, we went hardcore with the hearts and flowers and the reds and pinks and spreading the love. When this team has a theme, they decorate crazy style, as seen below. Like, if I had to go into detail about what everyone did, this would be a Game of Thrones novel.  I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that I have been to every single (phx) launch party for each magazine that Club Rambutan has released, and it has been an exponential growth arc. Granted, let me not talk too much since I just joined the team for Cohort 3, but it’s been such a ride watching from the sidelines and I never miss a chance to talk up Editor in Chief, Maria Manaog. This launch party for 03: The Identity Issue is particularly special because it was the first time Club Rambutan hosted TWO launch parties -on the same day - in two different cities, which also officially debuted the freshly-formed San Francisco branch that was established by Maria just last September. (yaaaas asu alum feature - maria) For Phoenix’s event, we had a lineup of four local Phoenix DJs to set the mood, a raffle full of new Club Rambutan merchandise and personalized wine bottles <3, table of additional CR merchandise for purchase, and a beautiful heart cutout polaroid photo booth made by Thrisha. To my detriment, and I suspect many others, Gracie’s also provided pink glittery jello shots for purchase. An anonymous source told me they spent $70 on jello shots that night… After our DJs finished up at 9 PM, Sessions had their DJs hop on and spin the rest of the night away. Wish I could tell you more details but I had two vodka sodas and a jello shot and I’ve never been known for my high tolerance for alcohol. Thank Rambutan there are other team members to provide their favorite parts of the night: DOM: “Getting groovy with it, giggling, taking pictures.” (wish she’d used another g word for alliteration purposes) FRANKIE (alleged $70 jello shot spender): “Getting to sit in the CR booth and talking to strangers about what we do + how cool it is.” DREW : “Working the booth and letting people know who we are and what we do. Also dancing and vibing!” Me (Maya) - Setting up the wine bottle bouquets, talking the ear off my fellow tabling volunteer (Jenna) and going, “Wow… this is so amazing…” every 10 minutes. Also a HUGE SHOUTOUT to Baseline Flowers (incredible local PHX flower shop #JAPAN!) , who provided the dried flowers for our beautiful wine bottle bouquets, Kid Sister for the wine bottles aforementioned, and the Art Resource Center for the supplies to create many of the structures you saw about Gracie’s. Much love and see y’all next time! Preorder 03: The Identity Issue here ! I can confirm it’s the most insane one yet. Additionally, Check out the Cohort 3 Artist long form interviews below. I had the privilege of interviewing Marisa and Isabel so at least check those ones out. Just kidding…maybe. Laura Mae Williams Ashya Joselle Gianpaolo Pabros Destiny Ann Montoya Emilia Nawrocki Marisa Musing Isabel Li

If there’s one thing I love, it’s public transit. If there’s another thing I love, it’s the excitement of a budding romance. So, when I caught wind of BART’s first Valentraine, a Valentine’s Day speed dating event on a BART train, I thought, why not have the best of both worlds? Upon entering the Downtown Berkeley station, I could already hear the crowd of people this event pulled in. As I made my way down to the boarding area, the line to check in stretched much further down the platform than I had anticipated, where a sea of well-dressed 20 somethings were waiting to hop on the Valentraine. While waiting, I chatted with some fellow attendees, because there is nothing like the bonding, human experience of maneuvering the realm of public transit in a bustling city. While I was still in line, a UC Berkeley journalist with the voice memo app opened on her phone came up to me. She wanted to know my intentions behind RSVPing for the event - was I looking for some new friends? A Valentine? My next situationship? My answer: All of the above. Once checked in, we were sorted into three age groups: 18-21, 22-25, and 26+ (if I’m remembering that correctly). My group’s admin handed me a name tag where I was able to write down my name, pronouns, dating intentions, and sexual orientation. Along with that, I received a raffle ticket, a card with BART-related conversation starters (in case “what do you do?” wasn’t cutting it), a cute Valentine’s Day sticker, and a BART-themed ballpoint pen. Hey, even if I leave here single, at least I leave with these. After another round of media interviews (Like omg, so much media coverage), we were directed to enter a train car that corresponds to our age group. I sat myself down next to someone I had already chatted with outside, only for everyone in my train car to be instructed to move ourselves to the next car down. A sign of disorganization or a chance to get in some mild cardio? Either way, I kept it pushing. I repositioned myself in an aisle seat, this time with a stranger. We were then briefed on the parameters of the speed dating event: those with a window seat stay seated, and those in the aisle seat get up and find someone new to talk to every three minutes. The train would go from Downtown Berkeley to 24th & Mission and back, a little over an hour-long joyride! As soon as the three-minute timer started, the Valentraine was on the move. The typical BART soundtrack played in the background - wheels screeching, and the occasional rattling of, well I actually don’t know what of. In all honesty, all that combined with 40+ voices talking at once made for a slightly over stimulating experience. But hey, maybe that’s just the nature of speed dating. If you’re able to make a genuine connection in this environment, you may just have true love on your hands. Most conversations I had consisted of small talk, which, I genuinely adore! Some people rule it off as meaningless yapping, but to me, small talk isn’t just about what you say, it’s about how you say it - as the age old saying goes! When you only have three minutes, your charm and charisma go a long way. About halfway through the ride, the raffle began, and with prizes like a loaded Clipper Card, a BART train plushie, and a tote bag full of BART merch, I was hoping for a win. Alas, fate (and the raffle system) had other plans. Perhaps my true prize was to be found in the journey. Actually, no. I really wanted the Clipper Card. Raffle time! Congratulations to the winners, I’m only still a little bitter… As we made our way back to Downtown Berkeley, we were given the chance to revisit someone we hit it off with or to continue on with getting to know someone new. I went with the latter and ended up talking to someone who knows about Club Rambutan. If you’re reading this, hi! You were fabulous. Once we arrived back at the station, we had the option to keep chatting on the platform or head out for the night. The event had officially come to an end, but the connections, be it romantic or platonic, were just beginning. This was my first ever speed dating experience, and before this, I never thought I’d enjoy it. But now, consider me a convert! Speed dating is all about connection, conversation, and the simple joy of meeting someone. So, to the BART event organizers, kudos to you. What a unique way to bring people together on Cupid’s big day, and if nothing else, to foster community. To anyone considering speed dating in the future, hop on board, and see where love’s train takes you.

PERCY: How does your project relate to the theme of identity? LAURA MAE: This piece was initially inspired by the young swans that live in the canal by the restaurant I work at. What particularly inspired me were the flashes of white wings piercing through the young grey fluffy feathers. This sparked the idea of “changing feathers”, the transition of growing into an adult. My artwork is often personal so I wanted to explore this idea within my own life/experiences. This painting features myself and a selection of kitchen/homeware crockery that I own and have bought in an effort to build my future. Below are a few of Laura Mae’s early concept sketches for her contribution towards Issue 3. PERCY: What do you hope your audience will take away from this piece? LAURA MAE: I'm often quite introspective within my work, exploring my own identity and life experiences. I use myself as a reference and model, additionally taking informal photos of the objects around me to use within my artworks. I can only hope that displaying my own experiences will allow my artwork to personally connect with my audience, whether they can relate or not.  PERCY: You’ve mentioned your interest in how objects and personal possessions can shape our identities. What are your earliest memories with objects that have had a lasting impact on your sense of self? LAURA MAE : Before I was born - or when I was very young - my dad collected a small amount of Beanie Babies. I remember finding his box of them and I think the idea of collecting things, especially plush toys, stuck with me. Only recently has it manifested within myself where I collect Jellycat plushies. It brings me happiness to also be connected with my father in that way. He had some American and German themed bears which reflect both my nationalities, and I just loved that he chose bears which were not just random but ones that had personal meaning. Similarly, when I was born my mom had a Pikachu plush with her in the hospital. It only makes sense seeing as it was quite popular in the early 2000s and it only grew to be more popular. I used to collect the cards while I was in primary school and I remember begging to be taken to the shops to get more trading card packs. I then got into the video game, which probably is what got me into gaming in the first place. This nostalgia feeds into my interests today as I still have that first Pikachu plush along with 4 other newer Pokémon plushies.  I find it hard to explain, but as an adult I have found connecting to my younger self and indulging in the things I have loved my whole life as comforting and healing. You could say that being a Pokémon fan or a plush toy collector as part of my identity is as materialistic it might seem. These possessions and media have deep routes within my childhood and my relationships with loved ones. PERCY: Neurodivergence has played a key role in your relationship with objects, and you’ve mentioned that your obsession with collections is something you’d like to explore further. How do you think this perspective on objects and collections deepens the theme of identity in your art? LAURA MAE: Building off my last answer, I feel strongly that the things we collect/buy/accumulate throughout our lives can often be representations of memories or events that are important to us. I think that we also gravitate towards things that “speak to us”, things that are relatable and that we subconsciously choose to represent us. I started thinking about this idea more after my father passed away in 2021 and my mom and I were left with a collection of his possessions. For a while as we grieved we kept his “man cave” intact in memory of him. We got out more photos and things that were his or reminded us of him and displayed them in that room. It served as an important way for us to remember him, the man he was to us, through his possessions. This is what informed “what remains”, a painting I made previously, which was a really important exploration of identity, material culture and grief for me. The work I am making now also encapsulates the person I am at this moment in time. PERCY: What excites you the most about contributing to a project that prioritizes intersectional art and community? Do you find your own work influenced or expanded by the other artists in this cohort? LAURA MAE: Community is so important and it's been so wonderful to meet and work with so many more artists, especially since there's a variety of countries and cultures represented. I am so excited to see how we all tackle the theme differently. It's also exciting and important that Club Rambutan is so dedicated to the uplifting and showcasing of voices who aren’t often heard. It's been amazing to talk with artists from this cohort and ones within the Club Rambutan team. You can see Laura Mae’s full final project by purchasing 03: The Identity Issue .

PERCY: Tell me more about the piece you’ve created for this cohort and how it reflects the theme of identity . EMILIA : The piece I’ve created for this cohort is an oil painting of a pixelated portrait of myself with scattered colorful puzzle pieces, some highlighting different colors and some focusing on different areas of my face. While creating this piece, I was thinking about identity as a whole and how all of my work is about my identity, which I have a complicated relationship with. I thought of the puzzle pieces as different aspects of my personality and how it forms an overall intersectional identity - woman, first-generation American, queer, etc. while the pixelation also acts as a way to hide or abstract myself. PERCY: Your work draws deeply from personal experiences, mythology, and themes of evolution. How do these influences come together in your art, and what drives you to focus on these subjects? EMILIA : I focus on the themes in my work as a way to recreate stories and the morals within them in a feminist lens and as a way to work through religious trauma. All of these influences come together in my work naturally as they are part of what shape my identity and allow me to create my version of storytelling, one that I have autonomy in. PERCY: Pixelation and repetition is a unique feature of your style. What inspired you to incorporate it into your practice, and how does it connect to the larger messages in your work? EMILIA : In some of my older work when I first started painting, I focused on small, repetitive brush strokes going in the same direction and eventually decided to do some fully pixelated little paintings to see how far I could push the abstraction of an image before it is no longer recognizable. I found it interesting to observe how quickly the brain can interpret the pixelation as a whole image, and viewing pixelated paintings from up close, where they are just boxes of colors side by side, versus far away, where you see the image in its entirety. When I think about why I’m drawn to pixelation, I also can’t help but think back to when I was younger, sitting so close to the TV in the living room where I could see the small pixels that made up my favorite cartoons and shows. I enjoy using pixelation in oil painting as it feels like digitizing this ancient medium and paying homage to my childhood of being on the internet too much. PERCY: You’ve embraced a collage-like process, both physical and digital, in creating your pieces. What does this method bring to your exploration of identity and storytelling? EMILIA: When I start to create new pieces, the collaging process is another form of introspection for myself. I get to sit down with unlimited materials (whether it be my folders upon folders of cut-out magazine pages or the multiple tabs of free-use imagery on my computer) and figure out what sticks out to me and why. Sometimes creating the collage idea for the piece is like putting together a puzzle, where I have a bunch of pieces that could fit and my task is to narrow it down to what I believe translates the story the best.  PERCY: As someone who has created work inspired by religious trauma and feminist reinterpretations of myths, how do you see your art contributing to broader conversations about gender and identity? EMILIA: I believe being a queer woman, the experiences and beliefs I have are not uncommon amongst other women and other queer people, which allows others to be seen and have space to have conversations about things like misogyny in organized religion, the erasure of queer artists, etc.  Below are some captures of Emilia’s previous works that demonstrate their portrait and pixelation art style. PERCY: Community seems to play a large role in your art journey, from organizing DIY exhibitions to working in a shared studio space. How has collaboration and being part of a collective influenced your perspective and process? EMILIA : Collaboration and being around other artists always influences my perspective and process. I love the shared environment of a studio with other artists, especially of different mediums. Having a shared studio allows me to interact with others in my community and think about how we can share skills, inspire each other, bounce ideas to and from, and simply rant about how we hate not being able to be in the studio all the time. I think my process does involve a lot of vulnerability and being alone, which makes the moments where friends and artists alike come together that much more important, in hearing their thoughts and ideas. PERCY: What do you hope audiences take away from your work, especially when it comes to the intersection of humor, irony, and the serious themes you explore? EMILIA : I hope that audiences can relate to the notion of creating your own story and having a voice as a marginalized person – and that you can be sarcastic and angry about it in the process.  PERCY: Are there any forms of music that guide or inspire you in your creative process, either for this current piece or past ones? EMILIA : Music and literature inspire my process and pieces so much! I don’t work without listening to something, recently I’ve been delving more into audiobooks as well. Music-wise, I find the work of Julien Baker, Lingua Ignota, and Ethel Cain to be very inspirational – all use religious imagery in their work. Recent audiobooks I’ve enjoyed while creating have been: Down the Drain by Julia Fox, Who’s Afraid of Gender? By Judith Butler and The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917-2017 by Rashid Khalidi.  You can see Emilia’s full final project by purchasing 03: The Identity Issue .

FELIX: Tell me about the photo series you’ve created for this issue. GP: My series, Pillars, showcases my love and care for all the people in my life, including my family and friends. I was finding my artistic identity on my most recent trip to Japan, and I found an art book titled The Annihilation of Space and Time by @zerofeedback about how to reconstruct yourself from the ground up and understand why you make art. I boiled myself down to how much I love my community and how much I thrive on connecting with people.  My photo series is inspired by David Hockney, who joins all of these images together. Basically, if you were to take one frame of the image and have it framed in one tight area, but then have a collage of the entire space. It's still one picture but constructed very differently, and I thought that was sick.  FELIX: What inspires you to capture a shot or moment through your camera? GP: I've heard from some people in digital media, specifically photo and video, that our medium has a different artistic weight than a painting or an art piece molded by hand because it's a digital artifact. It’s something that's created in a very modern age. I feel very strongly about photography as the modern way of immortalizing something.  It could be one of the most important moments in someone's life when a baby is born and you're capturing the reaction of the father. Being able to look back at a moment and be like, Okay, this is what I was thinking at that time. This is what I was reflecting on. This moment will never leave me because I took this photo/video. FELIX: What is one takeaway you hope people will get from your photo series? GP: I hope that people more appreciative of their surroundings and reflect on people's impact on you, regardless of how much time they spend with you. Whether it's your parents who you've been with your whole life, or a recent friend that you made within the past half year.  I think the level of closeness that you have with someone isn't mutually exclusive to the time they've been in proximity with you. I also really hope that people understand that it's okay to be very human and community-oriented and to rely on people. Even though trust can be tampered with and you may have been betrayed, taking on that risk is the most human experience that you could ever endure.  There has to be a balance, you know, when it comes to relying on people and also relying on yourself. It’s being able to be vulnerable, but also having the strength to to keep it there, you know, to not be hurt by anything that comes your way, to not be hurt by anyone attacking that vulnerability.  Below are some captures from GP’s final project. FELIX: If you could relive any day of your life, what day, which day would you choose? GP : Oh, like, from start to finish, kind of ordeal? FELIX: Yes, we'll do start to finish.  GP : And this is the entire span of my life? FELIX: Yeah, we'll do the entire span of your life.  GP: I'm bombarded with choices. This might be a little bit of recency bias, but I would like to relive the day that I hosted my art gallery back in June of this year. I went through the day entirely in work mode, and I was just hoping everything was going well as head coordinator of the entire space. I was expecting a maximum of 100 people, and 170 people showed up that day, and it was insane. I tried to keep my head low and didn't appreciate everything as much as I wanted to in real-time. Obviously, I got to reflect on everything afterward and think about the impact that I made that day. I couldn't accept any congratulations at that moment, because I kept thinking the job was not finished. I'm thinking specifically about that clip of Kobe Bryant when he was doing his post-game conference, and he's like, “What's there to be happy about? The job’s not done.”  I’m so proud of everyone who helped me coordinate, everyone on my team, from those in charge of sound to the live performances to the vendors–it was just a beautiful day. That was all about community. That day also really helped me boil down my artistic identity. FELIX: Is there anything else you'd like to share about yourself and your photo series? GP: The location of this project is really important. It's going to be photographed in my grandmother's home, where, basically, she raised two generations of children and is also the last grandparent that I still have with me physically. I wanted to shoot in that location in particular because it was a place that I couldn't appreciate enough in my time as a child. Now that I'm older, I wanted this project to be in a place where I had so much love and care placed on me. You can see GP’s full final project by purchasing 03: The Identity Issue .

FELIX: Can you tell me a little bit about the artwork that is being featured? ASHYA: It’s an interview-based project that will be integrated into sculpture. I put out a call for Filipino-American participants to share photos and stories about their family’s migration history , including personal relationships to language and religion, migrant working conditions, family dynamics, significant milestones in life, etc. This project is meant to showcase the unity of our experiences and struggles within the Filipino diaspora.  Some work-in-progress pics that Ashya sent us of their project a few months ago. FELIX: My next question is, how has your identity and upbringing influenced your artwork? ASHYA : Art has always been a very personal and vulnerable thing for me. Since I was 5 and to this day, I have drawn and painted in my room in the dark very often, you know? I thought that was just my idea of fun - I mean, it was - but as I've grown older, I realized that it was a coping mechanism for having to solve problems on my own as a child and grandchild to Filipino immigrants.  Within the Fil-Am community, there is a pressure to assimilate with Americans and hide our culture, so I was never able to fully understand why my family refused to teach us our languages, why we were expected to overwork in our career to send money overseas, or why my tito needed to get married as soon as possible to stay in the US - It was just something that had to be done. Overall, there was a heavy feeling of shame around our heritage and a lack of answers as to why my family left the Philippines. With this realization, I’ve since used my art to work through these feelings and educate myself and others.  FELIX: As both an artist and an organizer, how do you think your art plays a role in sparking conversations and building community? What do you hope people will take away from your art? ASHYA: I’ve only been organizing for two years so far and one of the things I’ve been questioning myself on, is how to utilize my natural inclinations as an artist towards deepening the Fil-Am community’s collective understanding of the economic and political conditions overseas. This project is intended to explore that through our conditioning to internalize that we are still a part of Filipino history; Our entire existence is innately political. We are necessary to create change for the interest of the people by empowering each other to break the cycle of the colonial mindset and fight for a true, free Philippines.  It’s all interconnected. Our existence is intertwined with politics and everything that is around us too. FELIX: You mentioned how automatism is prioritized, and your art process goes with the flow. Could you describe the process of creating art? And are there any moments of artist's block? ASHYA: Intuitively, I have always created art in a meditative state, allowing my subconscious to do the work for me. Music, moods, and reflections determine the direction and tone of the artwork over time. For example, some of the work I enjoy creating is in collaboration with musicians - I would listen to their music on repeat, creating shapes and textures based on how I'm feeling when I hear certain sounds, progressions, rhythms, etc. As a result, the artwork embodies the essence of who the musicians are as people. The only problem with this process is that I get bored pretty fast. It can be difficult for long-term projects because the excitement of an idea calms about halfway through a piece and I’ll always want to move on to the next shiny blank canvas. It’s something I’ve been rectifying, especially with this project - It’s the first time I’ve been so intentional with the planning before even touching the artwork.  With this project specifically, I've kind of changed in that way where I'm putting a lot of intention into this project before I even start touching the artwork, which is something that I've never even dreamed I would do, but it'll be interesting to see how my process will change, or how it will get integrated into each other. FELIX: Your art process tends to be very in the moment. How do you think this kind of project challenged you in terms of planning and structure? ASHYA: I was raised with a very individualistic approach to art; It was something that I’ve always done alone and for myself. So, this project challenged me to be more open and vulnerable with my community. I had to talk through my self-doubt, trust my intuition, and prioritize communication for this all to work out. If I felt stuck somewhere during the process, I had to remind myself that it was okay to ask questions and lean on others for help - Especially when it came to scheduling, interviews, collecting photos, etc. FELIX: If you could time travel into the future, what would you want to see in the world? ASHYA : Living under a capitalist and imperialist system, it's encouraged that we fend for ourselves, shut each other off, and overwork with the desire to “get out of the rat race”. Our money is being used to fund genocide and militarization in the global south, while basic human needs aren’t able to be met without an increasing price tag attached. I would love to see a future where people can spend more time experiencing rest, joy, and community. I would love to see a system in place that is for the people, by the people.  You can see Ashya’s full final project by purchasing 03: The Identity Issue .

MARIA: What’s the story behind your relationship with collaging? Did you start the classic way with magazine cutouts? Or did you begin completely online? DESTINY: Yeah, I actually did start with traditional scissors and magazines! I would go to Bookman's and buy every single National Geographic I could because they were like a dollar. When I was early into making collages, I was going through the grief of losing my mom. I didn't have a lot of outlets or familial connections where I could vocalize what I was going through. I actually started trying to create memories from when I was 15 and younger since my whole memory during that time was blank because of how much I went through.  I use deal with these emotions <...> in a very healing way. Like memory associations. I was a Tumblr girl all throughout my teenage years, too. I noticed this weird attraction that I had to specific, niche types of stylized photos. And so I was like, well, what if I just switched to using these photos? What kind of themes will come out if I use photos?  MARIA: This photomontage you made is derived from another one of your works called Tiny’s. It includes up to 100 mini collages from Tiny’s to visualize “the atmosphere of you”. Tell me more about it, and why you decided to integrate it into this project. DESTINY: Tiny’s started last fall. It’s a play on my name. But it’s funny ‘cause they're not that tiny. This image is almost four by six inches. But when I compress them digitally, I can adjust their sizes easily. It was when I was beginning to feel dissatisfied with the full landscape collages . I was feeling lost and it was too much for each piece. I really got into three-object pairings because I found that, for me, these visual signifiers meant so much more in their compactness than it did as a whole expansive landscape. I would say that the transition from using images from National Geographic to found images from the internet was really important in fully actualizing what this project was going to be. It’s also very important that the photos are printed and I’m able to play with composition. My goal is to eventually make a book of all the tiny collages. MARIA: What do you want people to understand about you through this project? DESTINY: I want people to understand object associations as social signifiers, to address a certain group, or that this is what I'm into. My practice now is more so in tune with personality and persona. I want people to question why I'm using certain objects in relation to one another here.  MARIA: Are you welcoming viewers to make assumptions about you through this piece? Or do you want them to think more vastly, as in what these collages may represent generally in the world?  DESTINY: Projections of self is what I'm interested in conveying. I relate a lot to this artist, Arnaldo Roche Rabell. He'll take canvas and have his family members stand under it in the nude, the shape of their bodies directly imprinting onto the canvas. Through this process, he's recalling the idea of screen memories . That's the term I relate my process to. It is a term coined by Sigmund Freud which loosely describes distorted memories of childhood experiences that repress or mask traumatic experiences that actually occurred. I spent so much of the beginning of my life just in survival mode, where now that I'm in my 20s, I'm safe. I can reflect now, and upon those reflections, I realized I have no idea who I am. I had just been surviving up until this point. My practice lets me bring things I loved back , to curate my own idea of what I think reality is.  MARIA: You recently graduated with a B.A. in Museum Studies from Arizona State University. What would you say is your favorite part of the curation experience when working on an exhibit? What’s the most challenging? DESTINY: As a curator, you take this position of neutrality because you are facilitating this other person's artwork. It's necessary in this position to listen and unlearn. Unlearn everything I thought was hierarchical in our society, mostly from Western perspectives. I recognize how much of my high school education was shaped from colonial perspectives. My favorite part of this job is being introduced to new perspectives, having my mindset challenged in the healthiest ways possible. The hardest part of this job is dealing with institutional factors. So much of my senior year was unveiling how bad institutions are. They are the “enemy” in a way, because they are the perpetrators of colonialism. Many are funded by plantation money and upheld by white Eurocentric perspectives.  As an indigenous curator, that's my biggest challenge: learning how to deal with all this frustration and anger that comes with working in this field, but also not wanting to leave. One, because I recognize my voice is valid and that I deserve to be here. And two, understanding the practicalities of what it means to actually enact change.  Not through anger or impulsive reactions, but rather through thoughtful and strategic ways. That's where I struggle the most because it can be really hard to keep your calm after learning about all of the pain that institutions have caused and continue to do. MARIA: What is one thing you wish people knew more about museums and how they operate? DESTINY: I wish people were more aware of the amount of work that goes into exhibitions - not just the workload, but the amount of people who participate in it. This is partly to blame on the institution, because many times when exhibitions are announced, you read that little tiny label on the wall, and it only really mentions the curator. So I'm trying to break it down - for myself and for others - what does curatorial authority mean? Through my internship, I realized that it's a team of eight to ten people who actually help with marketing, layout design, things like that. We have graphic designers, interpreters, and researchers on top of the curator, who is presented as the sole face of the exhibition. I wish that museums did more in making sure that all these people's work was recognized. So yeah, invisible labor, let's talk about it.  You can see Destiny’s full final project by purchasing 03: The Identity Issue .

Today I hold much uncertainty in my heart. Today I am writing this on Inauguration Day in the United States. It comes as no surprise that for many of us in this country, there will be so much more at stake with Donald Trump’s return to Office. He and his cabinet are pushing policies that would drastically restrict the ways that a majority of us - the working and middle class - educate, protect, and support ourselves. His administration sets out to disrupt our liberties, such as axing the Department of Education and withholding funds from schools that “push critical race theory and transgender insanity”, eliminate Title IX protections for LGBTQIA+ students and staff, and (as of January 22nd) Trump has signed off on the executive termination of “radical DEI discrimination” in the federal workforce. Although these are only a few examples of what our nation’s “leaders” intend to do with our collective future, I hope it sets a clear enough scene for you to understand the kind of political landscape we’ll be navigating together for the next four years. Togetherness…at least we have that. Today I hold uncertainty in my heart, but not despair. I’m only 24. I’ve noticed a trend in people my age feeling overwhelmingly powerless in regard to this dramatic shift. If you relate to this, I can’t fully blame you. So many of us are just trying to keep our heads above water and strive for happiness within our means. You only have a finite amount of resources and energy to focus on yourself, right? Maybe. But how much longer can you ignore a fire until it burns your house down? How much time can you afford to waste to sit in silence and let your future be decided for you? Apathy and learned helplessness are the nails in the coffin that you hammer in yourself. So why not just try? Research things you don’t fully understand, and once you do, try to talk about it with your friends and family. Try to speak up. Try to donate your time to volunteer, supplies to drives, and money if you have some to spare. Try getting organized with causes you believe in, and you don’t have it alone. We can try together. Look closely at the listed policies above, and you’ll notice that they all share a similar trend: singling out the “outliers” in our society who are not straight, white, cisgender males. And with light research on Club Rambutan’s history, you’ll come to learn that most of our cohort artists are queer and/or women and/or people of color. Club Rambutan is non-partisan, but we are not apolitical. It would be a disservice to uphold our mission while turning a blind eye to national and global politics that impact our very own community members. When our collective first started, we were just two girls trying to find a purpose within ourselves through art. We didn’t know where our efforts would go, and Jasmin and I honestly were pretty silly with it in the beginning. But as time went on, and the more we talked, we realized the potential of CR and not only what it could do for our own self development, but for the surrounding young artists artists at a neighborhood-level. So yeah, there are probably thousands of art-related and community-based organizations like ours in the world, but that didn’t stop us from trying it ourselves. We went through many iterations on who should the target audience be. Below are a few screenshots of the original pitch deck, when we used to only cater towards Asian American/Pacific Islander artists. The logo used to be that little maroon blob I made in Figma, we were only based in Phoenix, and we didn’t even add the “Club” in front of Rambutan until a month or so later. Three cohorts later, two girls evolved into a 16-person team of volunteers based all around the US who have helped advocate for values of unity, open-mindedness, authenticity, and the preservation of diverse, valuable, and relatable human experiences through art. We’ve hosted a thrift market, (soon to be) a total of four launch parties, and have We defend the stance that art (even leisurely art) is an act of resistance against a system that wears us down financially and physically. All the magazines and events that come out of our team will always round back to these guiding principles (and yeah, we make sure to have fun doing it too). I hope that CR’s legacy is living proof of ordinary people trying and succeeding. It took some time, and we’re still learning as we go. But the point is that we tried, and I’m certain you can, too. Today I am uncertain, but somehow I still have faith.

If a genie spun itself out of a bottle to me in this very moment and gave me three wishes, my first wish would be for the Bay Area to have a Salad and Go. After leaving Phoenix for San Francisco two years ago, I can verify that most of these city dwellers are ultra health nuts. They do their run clubs and cycling sessions avidly. There is a tiny lot of tennis courts nearby my gym that is ALWAYS packed with pickle ball players, rain or shine. And most of all, they LOVE a good salad - and hell, me too. But these people are so used to their $18+ Sweetgreen and Souvla, and don’t even get me started on Blue Barn. Yes, they are all delicious and filling, and yes, I’m sure many San Franciscans can regularly afford them since a lot of them work in tech, but MY GOD. Why must you price gouge me over a bowl of leaves? If you don’t already know what that Salad and Go, you might be wondering what all the hype is about, aside the fact that I’ve already insinuated that it’s far more affordable than the aforementioned businesses (which it very much is). And if that’s the case for you, dear reader, then I can assure you that it gets much better than just that. I must warn you that I am a Salad and Go super fan. An extreme advocate, if you will. In my senior year of college, I focused my final web design project on redesigning the UX of the Salad and Go app (which admittedly no one really uses). I interviewed users, observing their behaviors on the original app, prototyping a new interface on Figma, and wrote a final case study justifying all the design changes based on my research findings. After receiving an A+ on the project, I was bold enough to cold-email Salad and Go with my project deck, asking them to review it. They never responded, but I saw the CEO looked at my LinkedIn 2 months later. Weird. And I was missing it so much in my first months living in the bay, I made a TikTok of it. It received a startlingly high number of 43 likes and 10 saves, mind you. Anyway, for my financially responsible yet skeptical salad eaters, I’ll start with a direct price comparison. At Salad and Go, all salads are under $8 before tax. If you (for some silly reason) order via a third party like Uber Eats or Doordash, there is an additional $1 tacked onto the base price of all food items. What’s even better is that you can turn all salads into a wrap for NO COST, and protein is INCLUDED (if you want it). This means you can get steak for no additional cost, the same way you can get chicken or tofu. I visited my dad in AZ this past Christmas, and naturally I got Salad and Go five times in the one week I was there. Yes, the final price was $6.79 with steak. After tax it’s $7.29. I say that ordering S&G via third party apps is silly because - point #2 - all Salad and Go’s are strictly drive-thru and walk up only. Therefore, it wouldn’t make sense to get it from Doordash/Uber Eats/etc. when you can just drive there in typical fast food fashion (unless you live nowhere near to one or if you don’t have a car, but they are truly everywhere across Arizona). Since there is absolutely no dine-in option, customer service is extremely streamlined. S&G is basically the same size as Dutch Bros, but instead of coffee, it’s salads (duh). But I can confidently say that the speed in which you’ll receive your meal is much faster compared to Dutch. Yes, their salads are most definitely pre-assembled, but the ingredients are always fresh. I personally have never spotted a wilted green or smelled something odd in my salad or wrap. The lettuce always has a decent crunch with no weird aftertaste, too. So far, so good. Additionally, they also have drinks (all for $1.49), which range from cold brew coffee to tea to various types of lemonade. The seasonal soup is around a similar price range and rotates every few months. They also have a separate breakfast menu of various burritos! The burritos aren’t measly either; they’re definitely bigger than McDonald’s Sausage burrito. And they’re only $2.99 each! The only catch is that the breakfast menu is strictly available until 10:30 AM on weekdays and 11 AM on weekends. So take caution, night owls - the early bird gets the burrito. Some might call this an obsession, I say this is a love letter to the masses. Although Salad and Go is not a nationwide franchise (yet), this chain deserves all its flowers. Locations are only found in Nevada, Oklahoma, Texas, and Arizona at this time, but I hope that if any of you are based in any of these states, I hope you give it a shot. In a time where striving for a balanced diet and lifestyle is unnecessarily expensive, this Salad and Go is a bastion of affordable healthy living.

As we are amidst this holiday season, I’ve been seeing the horrendous act of “shop ‘til you drop” carried out and the curse of capitalism continuing. When it comes to the consumption of goods, Americans are incredibly successful and unmatched in this regard. We (apologies to the readers who are not American) are fundamentally driven by dissatisfaction. What makes us so unhappy? What needs have not been met? Personally, my biggest downfall is that I love a bargain. Some may think that is a positive attribute, but I am here to tell you that it is most definitely not. When you are constantly hunting for the next good deal, you miss whether or not the item would be useful to you, which has often led me to purchase more than I need (BOGO) and resulted in major decision fatigue. Obviously, this is not a unique downfall by any means, and in fact can be seen as a common character trait across many cultures. In the markets of the Middle East, India, etc. it’s expected that you’ll haggle for the best deal, so the vendors set their initial prices higher. In America, we call this Black Friday. What can we do to combat this? To be honest, I wrote this to complain and leave a review for some local repair shops in Phoenix. I love cobblers. They can add extra holes to your belts, fix heel tips that have fallen off (a common trait in thrifted boots), replace the sole, fill in scuffs, etc. My lovely friend in NYC has an odd way of walking; she walks almost entirely on the outer part of her feet, wearing it down until her platform boots (lesbian) make a triangle. She went to a cobbler and he slapped a new platform on them for $50 total. They are the saviors of the leather shoe and boot community. Besides that, what’s happening to local artisan crafts? I say bring back apprenticeships. I fear that everyday we lose a little bit more of our humanity and our creativity. Everyone codes nowadays, but not many can cobble. The highly skilled cobblers are retiring by the dozens and selling their shops (and listen, I’m happy for them, enjoy your retirement. Never touch a shoe again. Not my local cobbler though, y’all stay safe). Central Shoe Repair is a third-generation family-owned shop run by a husband-wife duo from Uzbekistan, Bella and Nerick. I yelped them thoroughly before visiting. Fun Fact: the founder of Club Rambutan is a Yelp Elite. I took a pair of suede, square toe mid-calf heeled boots (not relevant) whose insoles had basically fallen out (relevant). I additionally brought some belts to get extra holes added and various clothes since they offer tailoring services as well. I sew a little but frankly there’s much to learn, and sometimes, you don’t want to test the waters on an object of value. Anyways, I’ll preemptively say that I love this place. I haven’t even gotten my shoes back since I told them there was no rush, but they put extra holes in all my belts for free. I tried to pay, and Nerick said dismissively, “No, we don’t charge for that.” (Thanks Nerick!!) Then he told me I should probably get one of the belts shortened to balance it out, which makes sense, but I was already so grateful for the free belt holes that I didn’t process it until I was out the door and in my car. I’ll be back for my boots once they call me. You’ll hear from me soon.