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Shoutout my Hindu girls since the acronym for this is giving divine spiritual cosmos. Unfortunately, we’re not meditating, we’re reflecting on our very first art show that we put on at the end of August! Special shoutout to Sam, our events lead on the Phoenix team. You never really understand how hard it is to organize an event until you have to do it yourself… and find the venue… find a curator… negotiate… come hours before the show to supervise the show installation…send out volunteer sign ups…juggle the artists, volunteers, and Club Rambutan members who need to talk to you during the show… and so on.  Only My Honesty Matters was a one night only exhibition at Casa Cala that featured 10 Arizona-based artists exploring fear in its rawest form through sculpture, embroidery, mixed media, drawing, etc. As for the why, in Phoenix, it’s easy for curators and spaces to fall back on what’s known, creating a one dimensional homogeneous art scene. However, familiarity breeds contempt — the people of Phoenix crave change more than they know. Of course, it’s never been about a lack of artists (look at how many people still flock to art school!), rather a lack of access and opportunity for emerging artists to showcase their work. It's crucial to create these opportunities for them. In fact, some may say that is likely one of the three pillars of Club Rambutan.  We searched far and wide for a curator and ended up with a Cohort 3 Alumni, Destiny Montoya, who had a background in curation. See what you could potentially do if you apply to be an artist for our next cohort? Club Rambutan supports our alumni cohort artists after their digital residency, as we look to invest in our community to learn from each other. We WILL continue to create these opportunities. Our artists WILL be supported. Growth mindset or bust.  A little note from Sam - For many of the artists featured in OMHM, it was the first time showing their art publically. These artists killed it and I am so honored they trusted us to put their work on display and Destiny’s curatorial vision. Seeing their work complement each other in the space was truly beautiful and inspiring. And now back to me! I bravely and courageously volunteered to work the front for the first hour of the event, so I can provide some real, raw, behind the scenes commentary. It was sunny and hot. I didn’t know what the artists looked like — have you ever noticed that artists never put their face on their Instagrams? Probably because they have better things to do — and tried to charge each one of them for entry until they awkwardly informed me they were in the show. My bad! Once my hour was up, suddenly the sun had set. Sometimes, life is unfair.  0.5 selfie: me volunteering when it was peak sunny. 1.0 photo: me next to Karl-William Klenk's dumb god , 2025. My personal favorite art piece was the one I was sitting by during my volunteer hour, which is just another example of how familiarity is the death of us all.  I spoke (instagram DM’d) with some of the artists from the show to get a little bit of background on their inspiration and process behind their piece(s).  Commentary from select artists* Presley. ruined , 2023 staples, sign paint, mixed media two-three,  2023 nails, mixed media, wood, resin something inseparable from my work is the influence and techniques developed by genesis p-orridge. their use of the cut-up in collage and sigilization is vital to my work. my work often takes form as ritual and magic. To the right: two-three,  2023. Julia Marciana Untitled , 2025 Graphite on Cotton March 2024. I was learning about prehistoric art and how people made art to mark their spiritual visions in my art history class when I drew a sketch of a girl in a desert with the sun setting and a feather. In the sketch, the girl is nude, crawling in the desert while the sun is setting on her and a feather is floating down. The feather represents freedom as it has fallen loose from a bird. The desert imagery embodies isolation, specifically the kind felt as a girl living in that type of landscape. At the time, I was feeling really stuck and in pain, so I encapsulated those feelings with the flat, pure line forms our ancestors were once drawing on their walls.  When Destiny asked me if I had any pieces that invoked fear, I said yes but I’ll need to make a new one. I took that original drawing, upped the scale to about 30” x 40”, and shifted the perspective — almost like changing the camera angle — so you would see the fear and despair on the woman’s face.  I used pencils to build the drawing up, then shaved some thick lead pieces down into shavings and mixed it with water for the ground part of the image. It took me about a month to finish. Not only was it my first full graphite piece but it was my first on such a large scale. The piece to me is about how being a woman is to be vulnerable in this world. Being vulnerable is powerful. I hope you get lost in it while your eyes move along from her face to her body to the dusty sun down to her cupped hand to the feather. Izzy Rosales When I Sleep, My Guardian Angel Steps Out,  2023 Ceramic, fabric, first, candles I was incredibly honored when Destiny reached out to me to showcase my piece “When I Sleep My Guardian Angel Steps Out”. I had shown this previously at my collective’s (omnisimul) first show a few years back where it was born from a place of immense loss and grief. When Destiny asked if I would be interested in showing it again, I said that I would love to recreate it to be more reflective of the time and feelings that have passed. Originally, there had been shards of stained glass in each of the bed posts. In this rendition, I carved notches out for candles instead. The viewing experience changed into one that was more interactive. Each time I changed the candles, I had the opportunity to speak with folks about the work and invite them to touch the piece. I teach ceramics to kids so I’m pretty desensitized to curious hands touching my work (lol). In fact, I encourage it because ceramics is such a tactile medium. The number one question I get asked about the piece is, “Is that [made out of] wood?”. It comes as a shock that mud can have such a transformative property but that’s exactly why I’m so drawn to it. *Commentary has been cut down for readability.  Artists and pieces not shown in this article can be found HERE .

In July my best friend, Adi, moved 800 miles away from sunny Phoenix, to the windy Bay Area. This move was very sudden and I was heartbroken! Someone that I talked to everyday about everything and nothing, is no longer a quick phone call for last minute plans away. I have never been in a long distance romantic relationship, but here I was entering my first long distance friendship. I am not someone who has had a close relationship with my family, my mom being the only one I talk to and see on a regular basis. For me, my friends make up the entirety of my life and my world. I am very proud to have multiple friendships that have over a decade of history, laughs, tears and memories built together. I go through great lengths to keep my tight knit community in my life.Though my friendship with Adi isn’t ten years worth of history, she is someone who I felt as though I’ve known my entire life. When Adi and I met, it felt as though my long lost sister had found me. I found someone who had the same little weird thoughts about how the world worked. Another person who couldn’t wait to try the new Vietnamese takeout spot around the corner and taste one of everything. Someone who I could endlessly giggle about how unserious life is, and didn’t mind a weird and off-putting movie night marathon.  Adi and I both work together at an office job which transitioned to a fully remote position around the time she had moved. Once she moved away, we started a routine of facetiming while we went through our morning workflows. These calls reminded me of our days in the office, our desks next to each other, yapping about our current life dilemmas and new hyperfixations. Her talking about her new favorite brewery she stumbled across on an afternoon walk, and myself a new pottery class I decided to start taking over the weekend. Even the moments of silence were so comforting knowing that my bestie was on the other side.  A major part of Adi and I’s friendship was our reality tv nights. There’s been countless hours Adi and I have spent discussing and dissecting the dynamics of the toxic Love Island relationships, the social strategies of the players on The Traitors, and if either one of us felt we had enough of a social game to win Big Brother. Those 800 miles distance couldn’t stop us from our joined reality tv obsession, and luckily the current season of Big Brother is the exact mess to be a new endless topic of discussion. We started a new tradition of each of us ordering takeout, and live texting as we watch an episode. It may sound silly, but these moments make my heart a little less lonely. My personal favorite remedies to stay in touch with long-distance friends: Keep your ritualistic hangouts alive . Order your favorite takeout meals and eat them together on facetime. Live reacting to movies/shows.  Start with any Big Brother or Love Island season. Send letters . Accompanied with little trinkets a la Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Scheduling out a weekly call . Perfect for Type A personalities such as myself, and also extremely helpful with conflicting schedules and fast-paced lives.  Also remember these are your friends, you are never a bother to them for sending a silly photo of an object you found in an antique shop and it reminding you of them.

Whenever quality in fashion comes up, fast fashion is almost always at the center of the conversation. But what many people fail to realize is that the quality in new age luxury fashion has declined and could even be comparable to other fast fashion brands.  Just earlier this month, fashion influencer Wisdom Kaye, bought a sweater and vest from Miu Miu and both pieces arrived broken. Miu Miu quickly sent him a replacement for both pieces; Kaye filmed himself doing an unboxing for the replacements, and the button on the vest broke  on camera. Truly a PR nightmare, even for such a renowned designer brand like Miu Miu. But Miu Miu is not the only fashion house where quality and craftsmanship have worsened over the years. Many consumers report that designer clothing is less durable or well-made than ever before, even as prices increase. In a Vogue Business survey , a large proportion of respondents said that luxury “no longer means long-lasting quality product .” “You [the consumer] are no longer paying for the design or craftsmanship, but just the brand label.” Yet it wasn't always this way. Luxury was once aligned with artistry and detail, which is why buying second-hand luxury has seen such a resurgence this year. The contrast between the craftsmanship of a 2006 Miu Miu Matelassé and its 2025 edition highlights just how much quality has shifted over the years. A major factor behind this decline in quality is scale. Luxury brands are no longer small ateliers creating and designing exclusive pieces. They’re now global businesses scaling out thousands of pieces every week. Quality control becomes harder when garments are now mass-produced.  Everyone is buying their vintage designer on Depop now for a fraction of the price and  the quality is miles better. Shoppers are turning to e-commerce platforms like Depop, TheRealReal, and Vestiare Collective. I personally bought my 2004 Miu Miu Vitello bag from TheRealReal for $230 in 2023, and she is still pristine. And if it’s not vintage designer, people are favoring buying clothing from smaller, independent designers with more ethical ways of production.  Survey from Amy Odell's Substack I think there’s a magic behind scrolling through TheRealReal and just scrolling through the vintage pieces they have. This also applies to thrifting IRL. I was literally able to find an Issey Miyake Pleats Please  top fo r $4  at my local EcoThrift.  The hunt itself becomes a part of the experience, and I always get extra excited when I see a piece that resembles something I have on my wishlist or Cosmos board. It’s also how I discovered other smaller brands and just pieces I won’t be able to find today.  Also, the fact that everyone is thrifting now rather than going to the mall is a  recession indicator… but it’s also great because it’s a sustainable way of shopping (which we love). The amount of grails I have found thrifting has been insane, and it has made me feel much more connected to fashion as a whole. As someone who has been going to Goodwill with my dad as a child, I love that vintage and buying secondhand has become such a big shopping trend. It’s important to note that in the U.S. alone, about  11.3 million tons of textiles end up in landfills annually. Shopping second-hand is not only a fun way to shop for good quality vintage at low price points but it also reduces waste and extends the life of clothing.  Even though there is a quality decline in modern luxury, it has opened the door to more sustainable shopping habits and an appreciation for vintage luxury. More and more people are choosing to shop on Depop or supporting slow fashion brands rather than buying new, which is great for both the planet and curating personal style!

ALREADY LONGING FOR MY FAVORITE SPOTS AROUND TOWN After living in Downtown Phoenix for 8 years, I’m starting a new chapter in my life as I move to San Francisco to continue higher education. As I look on to what my new life will look like in a new city, I can’t help but think about my local Phoenix staples. I lived most of this time without a car but have been lucky enough to live within walking or light rail distance from these places. For my last little hurrah, I’ve decided to spend some time at the spaces I’ve frequented over the past few years and share some reasons and memories of why I enjoy these places. Stinkweeds Records For a local and independent record store, Stinkweeds Records keeps it real and local. The store employees are always excited to help you find a new artist or put you on to some of their favorite albums. My favorite part of going is seeing all the local Arizona music on display. I’ve always found record stores to be a magical place where you can discover new sounds and uncover new artist obsessions, and Stinkweeds continues to foster the love for music in Phoenix. Events such as listening parties or album release parties are also a great way to meet people and give you something to look forward to. Fàme Caffe Fàme has been my go-to food spot for years. As a lover of eggs and places that sell breakfast all day, this is my usual recommendation when people are looking for plans. Especially, if you had a late night out and looking for something to cure your headache. My usual order is: Horchata Latte Parisian Omelet OR Veggie Scramble (both pictured here) This restaurant has heard me and my friends talk about various topics: analyzing text messages from different crushes, gossiping about people we knew from high school or college, exploring the many ways democracy could progress, and even figuring out plans to quit jobs or find new opportunities to better suit us. If walls could talk, Fàme would have a lot to say about me that’s for sure. Kahvi Coffee When this place opened up the previously named Monorchid, I will admit I was a bit skeptical. But after time, Kahvi became the spot I would frequent when I was working on essays in undergrad, the place I would decompress after my first morning interviews when I graduated, and where I would bring work home on the weekends. With free Wifi, great food, and a sweetened Matcha latte I love, I’ve spent hours in Kahvi’s great atmosphere. And a perk for me, it is only a few blocks away from the light rail and a 15 minute walk from my apartment. Club Rambutan has had a few meetings here, and even our most recent team photo shoot was taken here! Groundwrk Last year, I had a little health scare as I realized my mild scoliosis was definitely affecting my body. After doing physical therapy for a few months, I decided to look for workout studios across the valley that I could try- I am not someone who can go to the gym on their own and be productive. For a few months, I tried different studios but only one stuck out to me as a place I could be comfortable in and that was Groundwrk. They offer Lift (HIIT workouts) and Ride (spin classes) at their studio all throughout the day with special themes or target work out areas. I found it to be especially fun as the studio is LGBTQ+ owned and operated, which means you already know the music is going to be full of bangers. I’ve spent pretty much every week here now for over a year and I’m a little nervous about finding a new place that makes me comfortable to be sweaty around a lot of people. Heard Museum I spent the past three years working for the Heard Museum in various capacities and have made lifelong friends out of my colleagues and artists I have met during my time there. Working there made me learn more about Indigenous arts and crafts, while also meeting amazing changemakers and outspoken artists.  Every year, the Heard Museum hosts the Heard Museum Guild Indian Fair and Market which has become the time of year I look forward to the most. I don’t anticipate being able to fly out every March on my law school budget so I’ll truly miss getting to visit and support over 600 Native artists. Palabras Bookstore Looking for a local place to find banned, queer, and revolutionary books? Palabras is the spot to not only look for new reads, but to also experience book clubs, attend workshops, and listen to visiting authors. Throughout the past few years, this spot has also been the place I’ve met up with friends and organizers to meet in a safe space to talk freely about our views about the world. Burton Barr Library Going to the library has always been a calming activity for me. Growing up, the Surprise library was where I spent my summers and weekends so when I moved to Phoenix, making this local library my third space was inevitable. In undergrad, I would do my studying here when I wanted to get away from campus and when I was studying for the LSAT, this became my place to seek quiet. With study breaks, I found myself looking over the featured book shelves and reading excerpts of books to add to my neverending list of books to read. In a time where libraries are under threat of being dissolved and defunded, my appreciation for an accessible area for free reads, free air conditioning in 100+ temperature, and free events has grown exponentially. Central Records Central Records is a cute little cafe and bar filled with records and books. It’s no secret I love attending events, and this venue hosts a lot of them. From benefit events for Palestine, mahjong nights and chess club, and weekly DJ sets, it’s a cozy place to see and support friends in their art. For a while I was leading the monthly mahjong night events and working with their staff was super fun and easy to do. Gracie’s Tax Bar It’s no secret Gracie’s is my local watering hole. Growing from a small little dive bar my friends and I used to frequent a couple years ago just for their cheese curds and tater tots to what has now become an insanely packed venue with themed nights, karaoke fundraisers, prize awarding game nights, flea markets, and of course, Phoenix-based live music and DJ sets.  Doesn’t matter what night you’re going during the week- something fun awaits. I’ve made many friends, heard a lot of stories, and genuinely found new connections just by waiting in line for the bathroom or sitting on the patio sharing a light. It may be crazy to call a dive bar a special place to call home but with a scene so uniquely Phoenix, I find Gracie’s to be irreplaceable.

Do you remember the first band you fell in love with? An artist whose music, no matter how long you went without listening to it, is so engrained into your being that singing along is simply muscle memory. This past month, I flew to windy San Francisco and attended the Long Live the Black Parade anniversary tour to see my childhood favorite band, My Chemical Romance. I was first introduced to My Chemical Romance around the age of nine, when the Danger Days album was released. I became an instant fan and made it my mission to memorize every lyric from every album, watch every interview, and purchase any MCR merch in sight at Hot Topic. I remember making mixtapes on burned CDs for my friends that contained all my favorite songs from Bulletproof Heart to Disenchanted and Thank You For the Venom . I felt like I discovered a beautiful gem and wanted to share my treasure with everyone. Seeing an artist be outspoken about their fears of death and dying and the bluntness of their battles of addiction, was something I never saw others talk about. I didn’t know there were people with similar experiences to mine, and didn’t feel ashamed to speak on their struggles. I felt like I needed to send 100 thank-you letters to four emo boys who didn’t even know I existed. My emo stan era was cut short, however, when the band announced their breakup in 2013. I was heartbroken, but life went on, and I slowly stopped listening to their music. I gave away my old t-shirts, their CDs collected dust on my shelves, and my beloved emo boys became a distant memory. However, the emo kid persists. Though I knew MCR inside and out, I never gave their debut album, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love, a chance. I one day had the urge to give it a try while working my day job, and I played it from start to finish. This changed everything. The rush of hearing Gerard Way’s voice again sent waves of childhood memories flooding back, and the charm of a lowly produced work of music was encapsulating. The Dawn of the Dead inspired track Early Sunsets Over Monroeville being a particular standout with Frank Iero’s soft, yet melancholic, melody during the verses. I couldn’t stop and had to listen to their entire discography. I felt as though I was experiencing their art for the very first time again; everything felt somehow new and different, but tearfully nostalgic. I understood their art in a new way that I was unable to comprehend as a child. I felt like I was being embraced in a warm hug from an old friend who found their way back to me. That night I looked to see if they had any upcoming shows, and they had announced their stadium tour that day. Tickets went on sale and were bought instantly - trip planned, hotel booked and all. Standing in Oracle Park with my MCR hoodie was surreal—the months of anticipation had finally led to this moment. Within the first few notes of The End , the tears instantly flowed. I couldn’t believe I was hearing the soundtrack of my childhood and surrounded by so many others who could shout the lyrics I had spent hours memorizing in middle school. I was overwhelmed, but I felt so much love and gratitude in my heart that I wanted to scream the lyrics that had helped me in ways I couldn’t begin to articulate. Through my smudged eyeliner tears, I just knew I had to sing each lyric as loud as I could.

JK yes clickbait. ** is AZ. *** is NYC. In light of a few members of the CR Phoenix team moving away and beginning new chapters in their lives, I thought this would be an excellent time (as a self proclaimed Arizona returnee) to reflect on what I personally didn’t realize I would miss about this state.  When I was in college, I spent an absurd amount of time in New York City, entirely for stupid reasons. The first time I went was because a friend drunkenly invited me to visit for two weeks. The second time was a 3 month stint with two other people just as crazy as me who agreed to split a one bedroom in west Harlem (Do NOT do this). The third time was the longest at 9 months, for someone I thought I was madly in love with (I also would probably not recommend this).  This is not to say I don't miss NYC - I miss it a lot. I never cared that much about the dirt and grime of the city, or the rats scurrying around in the background. Nowhere in the US, in my opinion, is as walkable. A friend of mine always says, “You know how I love when exercise is naturally implemented into your day.” I was basically hitting the stairmaster everyday out of necessity with the subways. I miss the scrappiness too… I had many a weird job. Everything was a side quest. The friends I made were so different from anyone I’d ever met. Someone I met there is childhood friends with Amaya from this past season of Love Island, which I didn’t know until he posted, “Congratzzz cousin.” Another girl I met through a friend is Lil Uzi Vert’s piercer. There’s a lot of queer joy to be found as well, so loudly celebrated. I cannot say the same for Phoenix unless you know where to go. Below: Trader Joe’s On 96th Hero Cosmetics Internship Pretending To Graduate From NYU Very Gay Cow Themed B-Day Party Crazy Haircut After Breakup & Pink Lady In The Park Marketing Internship Where The Girl From The NYU Photo Posted This Goddamn Parmesan Cheese Graphic And They Caught Us Redhanded Arizona, by contrast, is a dusty Republican dominated state with old white people shaking their fists in the air as people forget to signal while merging three lanes over to the exit on the highway. The air pollution is probably just as bad as NYC. Sometimes, Congressman Eli Crane’s call-in town halls are routed to my phone and I pick up to listen in and see what the rest of Arizona has to say. Unsurprisingly, they’re usually mad about the border.  And yet… when I came back to finish out my senior year of college, and the heat enveloped me in its devilish embrace… I felt a rush of gratitude and awe that I had never truly felt before as an entitled bitch. Everyone says they can’t wait to leave Arizona, as one does when you’ve stayed somewhere most of your life and desperately want to experience something, anything! I would never say that you shouldn’t go and explore, but remember to leave space to return. You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it. Ugh! I hate it when middle aged people reflecting on their youth are right! God, I missed the heat! When I landed in NYC, there was a BLIZZARD GOING ON! I went out in a BLIZZARD to locate the correct screws for my bedframe (my new roommate had somehow lost all of the screws) and after I had found and purchased them, I dropped them all outside of the hardware shop. That would never happen in Phoenix. Some people (Filipinos) sweat tremendously in the heat and hate it here. I (awesome lizard woman) do not sweat that much. That is why Maria Manaog, founder and Editor in Chief of Club Rambutan, moved to SF and I am still here. I love that we don’t have seasons. We have summer (extreme edition) and fall. Not many layers are needed and you save space on clothing in your bags and closets. I liked the layering for the fun, fashion experimentation aspect, but then why was I at the club looking like a grandma?  I can't even joke this was a terrible horrible day I hate admitting this, but I missed the pool. I don’t particularly like getting wet, especially not my hair, but there’s something so wonderful about clipping your hair up and wading around in a shaded pool in Arizona heat. Perhaps reading a book poolside, dipping your toes in. Hot tubs in the fall (weather is perfect for them for so many months of the year) with friends. NYC does not have easy to access pools, in fact, the Harlem pool was shut down when I lived there, to my roommate and I’s chagrin. You can go on TikTok  and see the military intensity they run their public pools by.  The valley is also known for the extreme intensity of its air conditioning. And I’m sure many have said, “But Europe doesn’t have air conditioning!” SHUT UPPPPP! This isn’t Italy! My NYC roommate and I did not even have window air conditioning because some man was supposed to purchase it for us. I got fed up at the end of June, hopped on Facebook Marketplace, found one for $50, carried it down 6 flights of stairs, reassessed my strength, and called an Uber. Then I installed it myself. Lesson learned - never trust your friend when they say a man will provide. He will not. I love central AC now with every fiber of my being. My dad keeps his house at 78 degrees in the summer and that felt like the greatest gift I had ever received when I returned. I have so many other aspects of Phoenix that I didn’t realize I loved so wholeheartedly… the dryness, how flat the city is, the highly praised street grid system, the library…having a reasonably sized closet… so many things. Most importantly, my brother was here. Frankly, I’m not a family oriented person, so this one surprised me. I don’t call my parents and they don’t call me. We’re not the sharing type. I had spent so much time away from my brother by this point - boarding school for the last two years of high school and almost all of college - that I couldn’t even fathom that he was 17. When I left for boarding school, I had been 17 myself, uncertain, horribly down in the dumps, and honestly? I didn’t give a fuck about anyone but me. The best and worst part about returning to Arizona has always been the realization that he had suddenly become a fully formed person without my consent or knowledge. If I had gone back to NYC like I originally planned after graduating early, I would have never truly known my brother. What a shame that would have been! He’s really quite a nice boy. He just turned 20 and is a much less selfish person than I was at 20, so I have high hopes for him at 25.  Below : My brother in 2017 vs 2023. I legitimately could only find this stupid photo where he was pretending to take a photo of me but instead took a selfie. I remember he stopped by my apartment sometime last year and someone told me, “You can tell that he really loves you.” And while I am sure he would have loved me even when far, far away, in a way you’re taught to love the family you don’t see very often, it’s much more tangible now. I know I can borrow his Subaru to retrieve a giant piece of furniture I found on Facebook Marketplace. He knows he can call me for things that don’t concern all of y’all. Not trying to air out his business in my article…  Anyways, heat, pools, AC and my brother - there’s my Arizona quartet that I didn’t realize I missed. One of my crazy and fondly remembered ex-roommates (I actually still live with her) said to add, “The rain in Arizona smells good. The rain in NYC smells like fish.” So, to all you Arizona rain lovers out there, beware New York City. It smells like fish (and dreams! if you believe Alicia Keys).

My honest review of the West Coast Craft Waves Vintage Market My perfect Saturday? Going to San Francisco on a sunny day (very rare in July for us in the Bay Area) and (window) shopping for vintage must-haves. I went to theWest Coast Craft Waves VintageMarket in Fort Mason, so you didn’t have to, and here’s my honest review.  For context,  earlier this year, I started to get really bored with my closet. I was uninspired when it came to creating an outfit, which was a feeling I haven’t felt in a while. For me, getting dressed is much more than just grabbing a random top I feel comfortable in -- I’m very intentional with the pieces I choose to wear. Not to be pretentious, but when I wear pieces that make me feel good, it makes going about my day easier. So, I had cleaned out over half of my entire wardrobe. This feeling stemmed from the crazy amount of clothes I had accumulated that I no longer touched (you can read more about the importance of curating your own style here ).  I’ve been slowly rebuilding my closet with quality pieces that offer longevity, timelessness, and, of course, that resonate with me.   Here are some of the things I have been looking for:  Accessories. Thinksterling silver and gold jewelry, eclectic satin scarves, funky sunglasses, and artisanal rings. Purses. I have a BIG vintage purse collection (even after I downsized) and want to lean more into collecting more vintage designer, now that I have the financial means to. Clothes .  Quality, versatile basics, as well as fun, bold statement pieces.  The WCC Wave Vintage Market was in the Gateway Pavilion at Fort Mason in San Francisco, being one of the many artisanal and vintage fashion markets that have been hosted there. The market was huge, with over 100+ booths of curated vintage clothing, furniture, jewelry, and anything else you can think of. It was a little overwhelming because of how many people there were, but it was still a great time! There were two floors to explore. The ground floor was mostly vintage fashion in mint condition (and unfortunately, way out of my price range). But I had fun sifting through the racks and putting my Anna Wintour face on. I appreciated that many of the designer-specific booths were curated with great love and care. Here were some of my personal vintage standouts:   Many of the displays and presentations were curated intentionally, and it also felt like I was walking through a museum, just as much as it was a shopping experience.  There were soooo many racks of clothing - from coats and jackets that were to die for to the funkiest silk scarves and ties! Rows and rows of the cutest heels and shoes, straight from Carrie Bradshaw’s closet. I ultimately knew I would be window shopping for the most part, as oftentimes curated vintage markets tend to be on the expensive side. My rule is that if there is an item that I absolutely cannot leave on the rack and isn’t unreasonably pricey, I can buy it. However, for me, looking at the condition of the item and fabric composition to deduce whether the pricing is fair is important because I have learned that many vintage resellers often upsell poor-quality items.   Sometimes polyester can look cute…but don’t fall for it! There was one booth that had a huge crowd. Curious, I went over and the seller had oneof the most beautiful collections of vintage jewelry -- it was every IT girl’s dream . I was looking for accessories, specifically artisanal and handcrafted jewelry that will not tarnish over time. I was at this booth for almost 30 minutes just looking through all of the pieces; there was a section with just vintage watches and watch bracelets. I came across the most beautiful watch bracelet, which had silver hardware with colorful gem-like jewels forming a bracelet brand. It was definitely a statement piece and would have been a wonderful addition to my jewelry collection…but I couldn’t justify the price tag. But it’s okay!  Now I’m on the lookout for watch accessories (which wasn’t ever really on my radar before) — which is why I think window shopping at markets like this is important in gaining inspiration.  Overall, the WCC Vintage Market was a cool experience, and I don’t regret going. I bought two pieces of jewelry: a gold “T” initial necklace with silver jewels, a pastel jeweled gold bracelet, and a black, backless - off-the-shoulder top. Candidly speaking, the price points for many of the booths were on the higher end. For curated, high-quality vintage and handcrafted artisanal pieces, these prices are definitely justified.  But in my opinion, I draw the line when sellers attempt to sell lower-grade garments at insane prices in the name of Y2K. I saw a “baby tee” that was upsold at $40 when it was definitely intended for toddlers. With that being said, would I pay $80 for a polyester Y2K top? Absolutely not ! But I still walked away from the Wave Vintage Market feeling content, gained fashion inspiration, and a new wardrobe must-have: vintage watch bracelets.

Happy Pride, everyone! This June, I've started a new tradition to watch more queer films. Whether the plot or the writers identify as queer themselves, I wanted to highlight cinema that celebrates the vast experiences of a community that I am incredibly proud to be part of. Here are five potential deep cuts to round out your Pride Month. Slight plot spoilers ahead! Stranger by the Lake (2013) dir. Alain Guiraudie Erotic Thriller Set on a popular rocky lakeside cruising spot in France, the story is told through Franck’s eyes as he befriends a lonely older man named Henri and becomes infatuated with the handsome Michel. While Franck is cruising late at night, he witnesses Michel murdering his boyfriend in the lake. Despite seeing this, Franck continues to pursue Michel romantically. A police investigation emerges and a detective starts questioning each of the men by the lake, “You have a strange way of loving each other. One of yours gets murdered and you keep fucking.” to which Franck replies, “We can’t stop living.” Stranger by the Lake is a quiet, minimalist film with no music; the gaps between dialogue are filled by crashing waves and rustling leaves. The confrontation of male sexuality, the quietness between scenes, and the foliage that surrounds the men offers the viewpoint that male homosexuality is natural. Cruising is an essential gay pastime, and gay men will continue to live their lives despite the world’s obstacles.  Adolescence of Utena (1999) dir. Kunihiko Ikuhara Fantasy, Romance Is it a sequel to the series? A prequel? A retelling of the anime? Who knows! Adolescence of Utena follows the anime series, Revolutionary Girl Utena , which is the story of teenage Utena Tenjou, a girl who wears a boy's uniform at her new school, Ohtori Academy. Utena quickly enters the world of sword dueling, the “prize” for winning the duels being engaged to the “Rose Bride”, Anthy Himemiya, Utena’s classmate. Being with Anthy, the bearer of the Rose Bride, can “revolutionize the world.” This film is riddled with visual metaphors and commentary on fairy tales, subverting the heteronormative stories we were privy to from a young age. Can a girl be a prince? Why must a prince always save a princess? Can a princess save herself? The anime series, as well as the film, had a profound impact on me in realizing my queer identity ( so impactful that I got my first tattoo to mark my 25th birthday: the sword of the femme lesbian duelist, Juri Arisugawa ). Seeing gender and sexuality addressed in such an abstract yet complex manner was liberating. Mulholland Dr. (2001) dir. David Lynch Neo-Noir, Romance, Horror Last but not least: my favorite film of all time. Lesbian crashouts, dreams, and a stinky rotting corpse of a mysterious woman are all rolled into this surrealist masterpiece from the late, great American auteur, David Lynch. The film follows Rita, a woman who nearly avoids a tragic death when her limo crashes on the windy Mulholland Drive. As a result of the trauma, she becomes amnesiac. She encounters Betty, an aspiring actress fresh off her LAX flight, and the two try to figure out who exactly “Rita” is and why she has stacks of cash and a mysterious blue key in her purse. I went into this movie completely blind at the ripe age of nineteen and had to rewatch it in less than 24 hours to make sure I didn’t make up this movie in my head. This was my first entry into Lynch’s catalog, and it truly changed my approach to engaging with and creating art. I didn’t think it was possible to create a piece of work that could revel in the ugliness of heartbreak and struggling with your identity, all while entrusting the viewer to come to their own revelations of each character and their actions. While a certain level of nastiness and horror is shown on screen, you can also feel the love Lynch has for women, and the delicacy with which he grapples with such complex women and their relationships with one another.

an interview with Sam Platten Have you heard of Sonidddo ? No? Then you are NOT up to date with what Club Rambutan’s been up to recently (make sure you’re following our Instagram where we’re the most active!). We tabled at their first event in May, and had a grand ole time. If you’re a real Club Rambutaner, then you’ll remember that our second magazine launch party took place in a warehouse in Glendale, and had a DJ lineup. Crazy coincidence, one of the DJs from that very launch party, Sam Platten , is the founder of Sonidddo.  Now that we’ve established the connection, here’s the rundown. I went to Sonidddo’s first event at Club Contact , and intended to go and ask questions and generally be a curious cat. Unfortunately, I got a little drunk and by the time Sam had finished their set, I no longer was thinking, “What interesting and thought provoking question can I ask about Sonidddo to get a convo going?” and instead was thinking, “Mmmm I love Midori Sours,” as seen below. So, instead we did an interview via Google Meet.  Interview edited for clarity. Maya: What’s the purpose of this event? Sam: I was feeling this general state of yuck with the Phoenix music scene. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but it’s very disconnected and so many artists skip Arizona. We’re not as recognizable as LA or NYC or Chicago. I’ve lived here my whole life, and suddenly I was like, “What is happening here?” The collective output of Phoenix is so disappointing because there’s not a lot of visibility and the spaces that are meant for music and art and creativity have the same people and the same faces you see over and over again. It can become cliquey and you need to be in the know in order to get into those spaces.  I started to conceptualize Sonidddo around a year ago as a rotating club night, like where I play, some friends play, and there’s a rotating roster. It never turned into anything then because, you know, it was a random idea that crossed my mind. There also wasn’t a good space to host; I wasn’t going to pitch this to anywhere in Old Town Scottsdale or Mill Ave because it just wasn’t right. Then, Club Contact opened, posted that they were taking show proposals, and I realized that I could make this idea a reality.  I wanted to delve into the local Phoenix scene more, since people tend to congregate in their own groups. It’s so small in that way, and there’s not much crossover. There was an opportunity here to make an omakase of music for people to enjoy. M: I had a friend tell me that it was going to be mostly experimental EDM playing… is that an accurate description? Would you call it experimental EDM? S : Haha, it was definitely more electronic music. I know I give the vibe of experimental EDM, and I’m on the fence about that, about being outwardly experimental. Like, experimental music is awesome, but being experimental just to be experimental is a little annoying, like, “Oh, look, we’re different.”  Note from Sam: Electronic music and EDM are not contextually interchangeable, the acronym is usually interpreted as more commercial leaning electronic music. Typically people outside of that arena don’t use the term even if they are making/playing electronic music and it is danceable.  I tried to market this event in a more purposeful way. Club Contact really wanted us to feature our faces, and post a selfie, but I decided against that because it felt really unnatural to promote Sonidddo and myself in that way. To me, every facet of how this was perceived was important. I knew I didn’t want to bend on certain items since you can subtly turn people off if the appearance doesn’t match what’s being delivered.  M: Sonidddo - what does it mean? Why are there three D’s? S: It doesn’t mean anything really, “sonido” means sound in Spanish. (Maya note: this is SO arizona.) The three D’s are, (laughs), I don’t know if this will make sense to you or anyone else. To me, it rolls off the tongue. In my head, I hear the D’s as a kickdrum looping. I liked the sound in my head, kind of like a DJ tag. M: Is there a main central “sound” or is it constantly switching genres? S: I wanted everything to be somewhat danceable, to be a celebration of dance music. Of course, that’s very up to interpretation. In the future, I want it to vary, but the main component is music you can dance to.  M: How did you curate the lineup? What were your specifications?  S : Like the marketing, I was very particular about it. I was looking for a mix of different genres, different energies, vibes, etc. The night was intended to build into a crescendo, starting out slower and moving into higher energy as we went on.  LINEUP ! KILLTHEDJ - slower house  iraIRL - house SPIRITOROS - music producer, eccentric style, palate cleanser SAM - all over the place (music wise), ramped up the energy  ROBERCITA - latin techno, house, reggae EDRICS - electro house, indie 2010s pop The last few people were more established, to make sure the night would end on a high note. M: Follow up - how did you know them or find them? S : Three of them were friends, and two were people I’d played with before at other shows or venues.  M: Where do you see sonidddo going in the future? What’s the ideal? S : I’m still fleshing it out. I wasn’t sure if I’d even be able to have another Sonidddo night, because that hinged on the attendance of the first night. Ideally, I’d like to have one maybe once a month? Once a quarter? Either way, I’d have a rotating cast, probably have people back if they fit into the new “theme.”  For the future, I definitely want to take mix submissions so I can spotlight people who aren’t connected with me or my friends. That’s why I invited Club Rambutan and Envy Magazine to collaborate and table, I thought our missions were very similar in the creative world. The long game would potentially be workshops, DJ open play where people can hop on and play for fifteen minutes, spaces where people can practice music or share their projects and receive feedback.  M: Are you happy with how the event on Sunday turned out? Give me your rose - bud - thorn. (My apologies to Sam on this one. We had a bit of confusion here. Unfortunately, I can’t physically stop myself from asking people, “what’s your rose, bud and thorn for today?”) S : Rose of the event would be that there was a great turnout, around 200 people, great energy, people were dancing, and everyone was having fun. Bud (potential) is probably that we could have done more with the visuals, I’d like to do something different and more compelling next time. I didn’t have a ton of time to put a lot of visuals together, so we mainly had one up the entire time. The thorn was that the sound was super low for the first few people, and the lights were really bright in the beginning. Not a great environment for dancing. The house sound should have everything up on their end, and we had to redline ( M: What’s that? ), max out the audio. This can potentially damage the equipment, which isn’t… great. Overall, I’m really happy with how everything turned out. I wasn’t sure if it would do well, Club Contact wasn’t sure if it would do well, but suddenly there was a line outside at the beginning of the night. Thanks to everyone who showed up, we’ll definitely be having another Sonidddo night.

While city-wide Pride celebrations and promotions stick to the month of June, here are a few Queer Phoenix organizations consistently hosting safe spaces for LGBTQIA2+. Pride month is a time for the queer community to celebrate gender and sexuality, while also highlighting the history and hardships of LGBTQIA2+ communities. Commemorating the Stonewall Riots in June 1969, this annual and global recognition of LGBTQIA2+ existence and resistance is what makes June an empowering time for gay elders, baby gays, people figuring things out, and everyone in between. The commercialization of Pride month has risen exponentially as businesses use this time to maximize their marketing to LGBTQIA2+ consumers. June is a month when it’s suddenly okay for corporations to make space for queer people through events and promotions. But queer people exist beyond June. As a queer person, it comes more naturally to hang out with other queer people. Friends you make at school, work, or even just hanging out in similar spaces. I’ve branched out a little more trying to make the effort to be in queerer spaces. As a socially anxious person, sometimes it’s a little harder for me to enter a space where I may know little to no people there, but here are a few social clubs that have lessened that barrier for me as they have always been so welcoming and friendly.  Phoenix Queer Hoopers Whether you love ball or have always avoided a sport, this club is open to all levels of experience. Starting in January 2024, Phoenix Queer Hoopers holds weekly open gyms on Sunday mornings, indoors during the summer and in Encanto Park when the weather is cooler. Queer ballers come together to play a few rounds of half-court pick up basketball, followed by a full court game at the end. Donations to the club are required for paying court fees to reserve the time slots. Even Nike has taken notice of this sports club. Back in December, Nike gave some merch to the group to pass out to its attendees. Watch parties for the WNBA and Women’s NCAA tournament have been held, along with regular hangouts after the sessions. I grew up playing basketball, and though I have never been very good, it doesn’t really matter in a space like this since everyone’s here to play, learn, and overall, just have fun. Any anxiety from former coaches fades away in a space where everyone is encouraging and very eager to give everyone a chance to shoot the ball. By encouraging queer hoopers around the state to come and make new friends on and off the court, the club has grown over the months, with an increase of regulars attending each week. thems For the artists and art lovers, thems phoenix offers events such as various art workshops, exhibitions, and hang outs for queer folks in the valley. My favorite thing about thems is seeing friends you didn’t know were artists or watching friends explore their creativity. Their most popular event is their monthly open mic night, Fruity Poetry Night. Each event gives space for queer artists to express themselves through poetry, spoken word, and music. The event takes shape in different forms each time. Sometimes mixed with a larger vendor market, a night at the Phoenix Art Museum, and this past month, at Pemberton Phoenix’s newest pool.  Sign ups to read started at 6:45 p.m. Though there were only a few lined up to speak, each poet shared personal stories and their vulnerability was embraced and supported by the crowd. After the line up, the party resumed with music by DJ Joelie and the pool filled with dancing and laughter. Lezbe Friends As an opportunity to make more lesbian and sapphic friends, maybe even potential lovers, Lezbe Friends creates events all throughout the valley collaborating with queer vendors and DJs to make the hottest parties. Dancing, photo opportunities, and new connections can be seen at every event like Sapphic Sundays and the Lezbe Friends Sapphic Pool Parties. I’ve been lucky enough to attend both the Lezbe Friends Sapphic pool parties, in May and June, as each event sold out quickly. Giveaways, photobooths, twerk contests, and all the pool toys made each event such a fun party. With a group chat on Instagram of all attendees, it’s a nice way to reconnect with people you met, make plans with people at the events, or promote other queer events and vendors around the valley. I’ve loved finding new spaces for myself over the past year and these three social organizations have been my favorite places to find my interests and hobbies in safe spaces for the LGBTQIA2+ community.

Fashion has always been and is still political. A deeper dive into the OG uniform of unity and resistance: zoot suits. The political and social climate of 2025 has been overwhelming, to say the least. It’s unsettling to witness widespread unrest and chaos unfolding in real time ; it can feel like we’re on the cusp of something worse every day. As a child of second generation with Bay Area roots (an area rich in culture, food, and history shaped by the labor and love of immigrants ), the criminalization of our undocumented neighbors is disheartening and infuriating. The Trump administration's latest and boldest attempts to demonize Brown immigrants has been taking America by storm since the turn of this year . It's important to remember that this sort of prejudice is not new. The roots of conflict trace back to historical events that contextualize what is happening today. I recently fell down a TikTok rabbit hole and learned about the Zoot Suit Riots, an incredibly important piece of Mexican-American history. The Zoot Suit Riots are just another example of how fashion has always been and is still political . While zoot suits are an important symbol of Mexican-American resistance, the zoot suit started in Harlem and was worn by Black Americans in the 1930s. It was later revolutionized and adopted by Mexican Americans barrios of Los Angeles. Zoot suits, or pachucos/pachucas, was a symbol of cultural resistance and political rebellion amongst the Mexican American communities during the 1940s. The zoot suit was a fashion statement in its own right: defined by exaggerated shoulder pads, large lapels, long blazers, high-waisted, balloon-like trousers, often accessorized with flamboyant hats.  Zoot suits first became controversial because of the material used to make these suits. The composition of the zoot suits was wool, which was considered a scarce fabric at the time. This was all happening during World War II, when the American government imposed rationing on many resources, including wool. In time, it became illegal to manufacture these suits, but nonetheless, these suits were still getting made. The excessive material used in a zoot suit came to symbolize an act of resistance, given the wartime context. By continuing to wear the zoot suit, Mexican American youths were labeled as “unpatriotic”, rejecting the demands of wartime sacrifice. While the American mainstream saw the zoot suit as unpatriotic and wasteful, for Mexican Americans, it was not just an act of defiance but also a statement of asserting their presence and rights in a society that had largely marginalized them. The zoot suit was political because it questioned the cultural and social hierarchies that made Mexican Americans feel like second-class citizens.  For more historical context, racial tensions were at an all time high in California. There was a stark increase of Mexican immigrants who came for field work and railroad projects. The California government called upon Mexico to send workers, promising U.S. citizenship, housing, basic health care, and more. Unfortunately, that was not the reality for many Mexican workers once they arrived. Americans were not welcoming, marking the start of wrongful stereotyping and racial tensions. The start of the criminalization of zootsuiters (aka Mexican Americans who wore these suits) came from a murder case that happened in 1942. Famously called The Sleepy Lagoon murder , a young Mexican-American man named Jose Gallardo Diaz was found dead by a reservoir in Commerce, California. The murder remains unsolved; however, 17 young Mexican Americans were wrongfully convicted. This case was sensationalized in mainstream American media, used as propaganda to fuel hatred towards Mexican immigrants.  These cultural tensions led to the Zoot Suits Riots in 1943, a series of riots between Mexican American men and white American servicemen. Most of these riots took place in Los Angeles, as that was where many white American servicemen were stationed. The first riot of this series happened in June 1943, when a group of young Mexican men wearing zoot suits got into a physical altercation with a group of white sailors. This incident gained mass media coverage, where it was overly exaggerated and, once again, used to paint a false narrative of zoot suiters. This incident caused white servicemen, sailors and Marines to go into Mexican American barrios in East Los Angeles and physically attack anyone in a zoot suit. Evidently, it was Mexican Americans who were being targeted by white servicemen, where they were brutally beaten and had their clothing destroyed. The police often sided with the servicemen and would, in turn, arrest the victims (the majority were Mexican Americans and, to put this plainly, were hate-crimed ) who had been attacked, which worsened racial tensions. The aftermath of the riots led to greater political mobilization amongst Mexican Americans, highlighting the racial disparities and inequality they faced compared to their white counterparts.  The criminalization of zoot suiters in the 1940s reveals how deeply fashion and identity are intertwined with politics. The zoot suit was seen as an act of defiance, a form of cultural identity, but it was also weaponized against those who wore it, just as today’s immigrant communities are falsely painted as threats. The backlash against zoot suiters during the Zoot Suit Riots became a turning point, revealing how fashion, like immigration status, could be used to stereotype and stigmatize an entire community. Fashion has always been used as a powerful tool for self-expression and resistance. Just as the Mexican American youth in the 1940s wore their zoot suits with pride, rejecting societal norms and asserting their right to be seen, today’s immigrant communities continue to use their cultural identities as an act of resistance. This can be especially seen through fashion, as a means of not only self-expression but a statement. Fashion is not only political, but fashion is a statement of non-conformity.

Club Contact then v. now I’ve never seen something as anticipated as the opening of Club Contact . The owner of Gracie’s Tax Bar (guess what her name is) opened a club down the street to fill what seemed to be a gap in the Phoenix nightlife market - a place for alternative people to shake ass. Not that they weren’t before at Gracie’s, there’s just really not enough space to comfortably do so. It’s also outdoors, so the heat is a killer during the summer months.  Club Contact took over the space that was formerly Thundercat Lounge , an 80s inspired bar and club that had been open for around a year or so. I never had the pleasure of going, but when looking at photos, Club Contact preserved quite a bit of the unique parts that made it special - the mirrored ceilings and the basement lounge with leather couches come to mind. Never fear, they live on at a close by 70s themed bar, Thunder bird Lounge .  I didn’t realize I’d be doing a comparative writeup on the before and after of Club Contact, so I really only have one photo of myself from the launch where I look geisha white (I’m Japanese). The line for opening weekend? Insane. I think we waited for thirty minutes, realized we knew someone ahead in line, did the time honored tradition of starting a casual conversation in order to cut, and got in within an hour. Shoutout Brian - I hope you read our newsletters.  Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, an HOUR ? What a long time to wait in line at 9 PM on a Friday night. I hate to say it, but that was comparatively fast to what we could have endured. Y’all don’t even get it… this line was moving at a snail’s pace. Perhaps we took one step every 5 minutes… perhaps longer. Once at the front, we paid a $10 cover and headed inside. At least, I think it was a $10 cover. Social media coverage says $5 but in my heart it feels like it was $10. Not much to say after this… it was a good time. It was less crowded than I expected considering the massive line. I bought Brian a cocktail as a thank you for letting us cut. Unfortunately, this is one of the only other content pieces from this night. I don’t know why I decided a boomerang was the way to go. Now the second time I went, for article purposes obviously, it was Crunk and Chill night. There’s lots of jokes to be made here, and I’ll do my best to avoid them. They had Crunk Juice (vodka redbull) available for purchase, and it did in fact taste like straight vodka. Whether this is a great deal or not is really up for debate and personal opinion. This time, the cover was $5, and you know what? I’d rather get there late and pay $5 than show up at 9 PM sharp, but that’s just me. Embarrassingly enough, we did show up at 9 PM sharp, realized it was too empty, and popped over to Gracie’s for a few drinks beforehand. They’re approximately a 15 minute walk from one another. When comparing Gracie’s and Club Contact, Gracie’s had more people (or at least an equivalent amount), even later in the night. Why don’t more people go to Club Contact? Why do they still congregate at Gracie's? There should be a certain amount of social trust that the former will be just as much of a good time as well. It’s the same DJs and the same vibe, just with air conditioning, and a proper dance floor. There’s even the exact same amount of outdoor seating. ( The air conditioning is so intense on the dance floor that I actually need more people to come to Club Contact. Come heat the place up with your bodies so that I’m not as cold.) If I had to hypothesize… in an if/then/because format… If Gracie’s doesn’t charge a cover, then more people will go there, because people are . Down the line, my future hypothesis would be… If Club Contact has air conditioning, then more people will go during the summer, because Phoenix will be over 110 degrees. Honestly, there were all these expectations, and the line was so insanely long on opening weekend, so I get why people mentally crossed it off their list. People hate change or when something doesn’t live up to the fantasy! Myself included, and I feel like I’m a fairly spontaneous and open minded person. Just the other day, my work changed the software for something mundane and I got mad about it and avoided the new software for a few days. Turns out it’s literally fine and I was being dramatic.  Or, maybe everyone hates dancing now, which might actually be a greater societal problem. Everyone wants to sit and have a drink and chat with their friends and no one wants to join the 4 person twerk train. Too many people in their 20s are mentally fast tracking themselves to early forties with this glass of wine and puzzle nonsense.  Now, if that’s your vibe, I’m not mad about it. But, when’s the last time you had a conversation with someone random? When’s the last time you did something for someone just because? There’s so much to be gained from being open to connection. Support awaits in the discomfort of doing favors. And dance! It’s good for you.

As the last few days of Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month (APAHM) approach us, I need to confess one thing: I haven’t really thought much about being Asian in a while. That is, until I recently attended a screening for HAAPI Meal , which is a docuseries on Asian American chefs and their stories. I’ve been living in San Francisco for exactly two years now—one of the most densely Asian-populated cities in the United States–and never once did I fully unpack the baggage of a past identity crisis that I lugged from Phoenix all the way to here. But there I was, mentally sorting it all out again as I listened to Chef Nico de Leon ’s speak on his own cultural journey: “I didn’t not identify with my culture, but it wasn’t my first identifier...The Pinoys at my school, we were all friends growing up, but we just didn’t relate other than being Filipino… wasn’t something i was necessarily ashamed of, but i wasn’t necessarily proud.” The last time I consistently thought about “being Asian” was in college.It started at 17 years old, awkward, impressionable and eager to get to college and let it mold me into someone cool. I was clearly still figuring myself out, so I played it safe and joined a community that I was already somewhat familiar with: a Filipino club. I was already familiar with the customs and I came from a pretty traditional immigrant home, so why not? I quickly learned that there is a certain… energy that comes with being involved in student-led cultural orgs. It was a very intense experience. The enthusiasm in every meeting is always high, the determination to outdrink each other is even higher, and their members’ inner social dynamics were scandalous at worst, petty at best. Everything was dramatic and therefore exciting. And their events? It’s like a summer camp and a youth group had a baby on steroids and everything it did was about being Filipino. I ate it all up. Unlike Chef Nico, being Asian became my first (and for a while, only) identifier. It started when I attended my first Friendship Games in 2018. Every fall semester, Filipino college clubs all over California, Arizona, and Nevada hightail it to Cal State Fullerton for the weekend. For one entire day, they compete for an 8-foot tall trophy, the winning team determined by who exemplified the most S.P.U.F. (Spirit, Pride, Unity, and Friendship) through games and performances. It was overwhelming. All this to say, FG showed me what I thought was the prime example of how an Asian American should show pride in their identity: exuberantly, homogeneously, and relentlessly. The more I got involved, I saw how we all had collectively bonded through the same internet memes and forums over and over again, poking fun at the personalities and interests of our peers. The best I can describe this phenomenon is that it’s one big diasporic inside joke that we can refer to as the “American” part of our shared Asian American experience. As someone who wasn’t part of a close-knit community before, it felt really nice to be included for once (even for how ridiculous it might be). I was still a blank canvas, and I had internalized these attitudes into my own social performance. Then COVID-19 hit. I transferred universities and moved back home. All throughout 2020 and well into 2021, the nationwide trend in anti-AAPI hate crimes added a deeper level of trauma to our community during an already extremely isolating and anxiety-riddled time. Once the mask mandate was lifted and we returned to the classrooms two years later, it made sense why (primarily East and Southeast) Asian American young adults began to cling to each other a little more tightly. We sought out solidarity across our groups, and in the process we had revived a more vibrant, stronger sense of pride in our collective identity. I was one of those people. Shortly after lockdown, I became an intern-turned-president for my university’s Asian American student coalition. For a little over two years, I organized online and in-person events, advised 10+ cultural organizations, and guided a team of other students who were also determined to preserve the joy of our community, emboldened by the flames of adversity that we collectively faced barely one year ago. I received awards and gained a reputation that exceeded me. Needless to say, my self confidence soared to levels unimaginable to my freshman year self. The way I carried myself had fundamentally changed, and it clearly influenced the way I approached my personal relationships, schooling, and home life.  In some convoluted way, I had not only subconsciously bought into the idea that being Asian American is a social performance, but had begun to associate it as my primary source of individual power. It enabled me to become the person I had always wished I could be: a leader. My myopic (mis)understanding of what being Asian American meant had served as the unstable yet foundational step that I tried to build the rest of my self worth on. The dawn of my existential crisis arrived on the summer afternoon of a student-led Women’s March in 2021. It was three years after FG, and I had written and given my own speech on gendered and racial violence against AAPI women . At this point, I realized that I no longer had the luxury of being a passive member of a single cultural club; my thoughts were now consumed by everything relating to advocating, representing, and facilitating a sense of “Asian American pride” in my community. From the way I saw it, I couldn’t be a credible "change maker" if my work only focused on the surface-level, “digestible” aspects of our culture. The Asian American experience is not all fun and food and dance and play; there is a darker underbelly of struggle and resilience to acknowledge. Except, I could now barely understand myself. I had to seriously reassess what Asian “pride” actually meant and looked like to me, and not what the behavior of others influenced me to believe. What exactly about being Asian American are we collectively proud of? Other than the heritage that prior generations have passed down to us, what are the greater values and issues that actually influence our shared experience in this country? It wasn’t until I graduated college and removed myself from this impenetrable echo chamber of Asian American social life to understand this: I had fallen for the subconscious idea of Asians tokenizing their ethnicities as a way to both stand out and fit in American society. It was a problem that I couldn’t fix from the inside. It’s a wildly complex, multi-layered topic that is rooted in a history revolving around immigration, civil rights, and the role our community plays in the social hierarchy of other racial groups. There is no single straightforward answer to explain why modern “Asian Americanism” is portrayed the way it is today (but if we’re being honest, TLDR; capitalism and white supremacy are the usual culprits to blame).  The only thing I can do now is put the work into myself. Clearly, I’ve been procrastinating this self reflection for one reason or another - the postgrad reality of life hits hard and holds back on no one. It takes a lot of time to critically dissect dreams and ideas, which is time I don’t always have as an adult who is just trying to make ends meet. But still, I’ve made a lot of progress since then. I feel more secure in who I am now. I don’t look down on the spaces where I spent so much time trying to find myself in, but to Chef Nico’s point, sometimes we have nothing in common as individuals despite our ethnicity, which is completely okay. We can’t rely on a shared heritage to completely bind us as genuine friends, lovers, and partners - and that’s what I wished someone told me from the start. I haven’t thought about being Asian in a while - just not in that way.

Are we predictable commodities and consumers? How is fashion like the stock market, and how do our contexts shape our creativity?  Okay, okay. I won’t be the first to claim that I’m a fashion girlie (although one can aspire) nor am I anywhere near knowledgeable on stocks or the economy, but I think anyone (especially in creative spaces) understands that we express ourselves on the daily, with fashion and external presentation being some of our primary modes.  Anyone with style will tell you this without saying a word: this is who they are, how they’re feeling, what they’re excited about, what they’re inspired by, what mood they’re trying to evoke, what energy they’re choosing to present. Self-expression is everywhere and in everything. Hair, nails, jewelry, makeup, and of course, clothes. As someone who admires the expert curation of fabrics, textures, patterns, colors, and motifs in an outfit, hearing about the hemline index theory on Instagram sent me into a series of thoughts. What do these trends tell us about how self-expression is impacted by external and uncontrollable factors? Can our externalizations of creativity be that easily predicted?   But what is the hemline index theory ?  It’s an economic theory that suggests skirt lengths rise and fall in conjunction with economic trends, specifically the stock market. Most versions of this theory hypothesize that skirt lengths shorten during periods of prosperity and lengthen during economic recessions. I’ve heard various explanations of why this is, but many correlate feelings of liberation, confidence, and freedom (shorter hemlines) during periods of economic prosperity, and the opposite effect during periods of downturn. Some trace it back to one of the first observable trends in modern fashion history: the short flapper skirts of the 1920s shifting to the longer skirts during the 1930s and the aftermath of the Great Depression. Some theorize that it was cheaper to wear longer skirts because they would hide a lack of expensive silk stockings, which were no longer affordable. The theory has been debunked many times over many years, but is still often used to point toward more complex relationships between fashion, societal conditions, and economics.  In more recent times, some are using this theory to explain the comeback of maxi and midi skirts, and thread throughlines to how this may be part of a wider trend toward conservatism in the 2020s.  Some say this can be observed with conservatism and fashion for women in the 50s, for example, where traditional gender roles, conformity to domestic spheres, and expectations for homemaking dominated female life.  The Lipstick Index Theory functions similarly. It suggests that, in a period of economic downturn or recession, lipstick sales and other ‘affordable luxury’ sales are likely to increase. Vice versa, the theory also suggests that increased sales of lipstick and other lower-cost luxury items may signal an economic downturn. This was first observed by Leonard Lauder at Estee Lauder during the 2000s economic downturn following 9/11 . It is hypothesized that during economic hardship, many consumers still desire the feeling of being able to attain luxuries and indulgences, so they turn to lower-cost luxuries (e.g. nail polish and lipstick) rather than traditional luxury fashion and accessories. People may splurge on luxury cosmetics or ‘personal care’ items they usually wouldn’t rather than on bags and clothing that could break the bank. This allows feelings of wellness, security, and luxury in one’s life despite surrounding economic conditions.  We still want to feel like we have the breathing room to be creative and indulgent, which is difficult to do within the boundaries of our finances.  Both of these patterns make inherent sense to me, not because human creativity is predictable, but because, despite our creative efforts, we all belong within and are shaped by the contexts in which we live.  My easiest reference points are authors. We wouldn’t have the novels of Ernest Hemingway or George Orwell if the world didn’t experience the harrowing effects of war or fascism, nor would we have the novels of F. Scott Fitzgerald without the economic boom of the 1920s. This could be argued about art born out of many historical contexts, if not all: The Renaissance, the Counter Culture of the 60s, the Harlem Renaissance. Art is shaped by history and shapes history all at once. Artists always respond to the current moment and shape the next. They are defined by their present and their past, and pave new cultures and movements into existence.  All this to say: our self-expression and creativity are not cynically limited or predictable like stocks on an index fund. These are just theories after all, and nothing can predict human behavior with certainty. But yes, it’s crazy to think that the choices we make in private when we open our closets are affected by the great ol’ economy. However, it sure makes sense to me that in a capitalist *hellscape* our resources are scarce. And meeting our basic needs will influence our decisions. It’s a tool of survival. And this includes safety too–nobody (at least, I think) is intentionally choosing a maxi skirt over a mini because they are consciously thinking about an economic recession or a trend towards conservatism. But it feels safer to take fewer risks in our day-to-day lives when so much around us is uncertain and remains out of our control. A desire for stability, and even to rely on ‘tradition,’ makes sense in a time where most people have to watch their spending on food and basic needs. We can subconsciously choose to shelter ourselves or even conform to notions of ‘acceptability’ because we don’t want to lose our jobs, our homes, or our security–we can barely get those in the first place! But the way that creativity and self-expression survive throughout any historic or economic conditions, I think, is pretty predictable. I look forward to reading what they have to write in books about our current moment, in history, in fashion, in art, in everything. I thought I couldn’t examine any of these theories in my life at first, but my 3 maxi skirts and impulsively-purchased $40 lipstick could say otherwise. What about you? :)

Out: Mindless Doom Scrolling; In: Intentional Moodboarding I remember creating my Tumblr account when I was 13 years old. All my friends were on it, and I heard it was the “cooler” version of WeHeartIt (the IT girl social network in 2014, Pinterest’s predecessor). The handle I chose was @/fabxulous, and little did I know that it would be the start of my love for gathering and collecting pretty, aesthetically pleasing pictures and curating a vibe (also taught me how to code HTML and CSS). I was intentional with every reblog and made sure my music player always played the perfect song when someone visited my page. This later progressed into me creating digital boards on Pinterest, physically collaging, and scrapbooking.  Moodboarding is quickly overlooked, but it is an important step in exercising creativity, Lottie Bisou, an art director for Koibird , explained that moodboarding is essentially creating a visual language in her Substack article, Pinterest To Portfolio #2: Moodboards . It is much more than just curating a vibe (as 25-year-old me has learned since my Tumblr days), but the pictures selected are purposeful, it propels and communicates the intended message of your project. Bisou says, “ Think of your moodboard as the bridge between the concept and execution. The blueprint. ”  Here are examples of moodboards I created for Club Rambutan’s upcoming fashion show in San Francisco, The Pyres of Desire . The concept of the show is inspired by the 7 deadly sins:  Creating moodboards is not only reserved for passion projects; it’s just as important to curate moodboards for fun. To me, leisurely moodboarding feels like allowing myself to wander. It encourages creative exploration without the pressure of a specific outcome or deadline. It’s cathartic and helps me better understand my evolving tastes and interests. Over time, these visual collections can even become a reflection of your creative growth. Whether you're scrolling through Tumblr archives, pinning on Pinterest, or saving images to a folder, collecting inspiration just for yourself can be both grounding and creatively fulfilling. For most people, Pinterest is the go-to website when looking for pictures to create moodboards (myself included until recently).  But once Pinterest enters the conversation, we also need to talk about the AI epidemic in creative spaces, and Pinterest has fallen victim. The shift to AI goes beyond the tailored algorithm -- the platform is overrun with AI-generated content. Most users go on Pinterest to look at pretty pictures, seeking visual curation. Pinterest has repositioned itself as an AI-first platform, driven by the significant revenue growth attributed to AI. Pinterest makes money off of promoted pins (paid advertisements), which is why its interface is flooded with advertisements. There is even a “buy it” button that allows users to easily purchase products directly from the platform.  The oversaturation of AI-generated content and the overwhelming amount of advertisements on Pinterest is off-putting. In my search for an alternative, I came across Cosmos —designed for finding and saving inspiration, curating “clusters” (digital boards), and sharing them with others. The site’s user-friendly and aesthetically pleasing interface immediately stood out. Its minimalist design, featuring a neutral black background and modern typography, allows the images to be the focus. I’ve found myself more drawn to the content and photos on Cosmos than those on Pinterest. I also appreciate how it automatically populates a variety of images and still tailors the experience to my interests.  In addition to using the Internet, I like to gain inspiration by flipping through physical media such as old magazines, coffee table books, art books, etc. I have collected a couple of cool magazines and art books I love to flip through for creative inspiration. Over the years, I have realized how important it is to have tangible media and art as we have reached the peak of the digital age. The convenience of technology has diminished the appreciation for collecting physical forms of media; music and movies are all on streaming platforms, and pretty pictures are stuck behind a screen. For fashion inspiration, I love looking through my Vogue Italia March 2000 Issue (fun fact: this is also from my birth month and year), issues of Mildew Magazine (a fashion magazine focused on second-hand fashion) and Wonderful Things by British fashion photographer Tim Walker. For design and visual curation, I love flipping through JAM: Tokyo-London which is a collection of fashion, graphics, photography, music and digital media during the early 2000s from Tokyo and London. In addition to being a fashion girly, I am equally a Sanrio girly and love flipping through Sanrio Design: The 90’s~2010’s for fun. I love to scan the images that catch my eye or resonate with me and incorporate them into a moodboard. When I want to put together a moodboard, rather than just collecting images and creating “clusters” leisurely,  I like to use Canva or Adobe Illustrator . Below are two boards I created using scanned images from one of my favorite magazines: In 2025, mindlessly doom scrolling on Instagram is out, and intentionally moodboarding is in. Discovering and collecting cool pictures leisurely fulfills the creative void, deepens your appreciation for art, and allows you to learn more about yourself. Creating mood boards can even segue into physical mediums such as collaging and scrapbooking. It fosters self-expression and the ability to communicate concepts, thoughts, and feelings visually.

I haven’t been to many shows in my life; I can count the number of concerts/shows I’ve gone to on one hand. I’ve lived in Midtown for almost two years and haven’t taken advantage of the music venues in my own backyard. I decided to challenge myself for May and attend three shows, all of which I do not know the artist. My only criterion for attending these shows was that they all had to be under $30 a ticket. I was mesmerized by La Luz and was pleasantly surprised when Shana returned for an encore. She performed a melodic and dreamy closer with just her and her guitar (I later found out this song was Blue Jay). Since the show, I’ve had their 2024 album, New of the Universe , on repeat. She alternated between an electric and acoustic guitar, her serene voice complementing each instrument. With each note she sang, I felt her pure heartbreak, love, loss, rage, and angst. During her performance of Fist, I began crying as the song went on. Her vulnerability and storytelling capabilities, combined with the ugliness that the end of a romantic relationship can take, touched me.  If La Luz felt like I was at a lakeside party with aliens, Miya Folick had transported me to the Bronze from an early season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer , swaying under the moonlight with both eyes closed and letting each note consume me. 5/15 Florist , $17 @ Valley Bar The last stop on my journey through Valley Bar’s showlist was the New York-based band Florist! Their sound was reminiscent of slow, folky, alternative music of Bob Dylan, yet with hints of contemporary experimental styles of bedroom pop. The entire venue swayed along to lead singer Emily Sprague’s sweet melodies. For an hour, I was in the clouds between awake and dreaming, and I didn’t want to leave. It was a bittersweet ending to my month of new music. I ended my journey of finding new music with a deep appreciation for live performances and fell in love with each of these artists, who I would’ve never discovered otherwise. Each of these artists were so different from one another, bringing a different energy on stage with them and crafting their own relationship with each audience. I danced, cried, dreamed, and laughed. This will definitely be a monthly occurrence.

Guess what? The Rambutan Roundup has gotten its first official coupon code. If you have a deep, underlying hunger for any of the following services from Great Wall Chinese Medicine …a woman and immigrant owned business…  Head Spa / Full Body Massage / Foot Spa / Face & Head Massage Traditional Acupuncture Moxibustion Cupping (Ba Guan) / Moving Cupping TuiNa - Chinese Medical Massage Medical Reflexology Scraping (Gua Sha) Infrared Lighting / Electric Stimulation / Ultrasound Manual Therapy (Zheng Gu) You can get 25% off by using our code, CLUBR25 , through booking online here. I know this is so out of character for me… Chinese medicine? Just kidding, probably super in character. So, to really set the scene, my roommate and I went to this particular Chinese medicine spa and clinic because our friend works there as a receptionist/everything woman. We were dropping off matcha for her, said hello, and suddenly, her mother appeared and smiled behind our friend. Uh oh , I’m sure both me and my roommate thought. What does she want to do to us this time? Side note - my roommate and I have been in this situation before, so we should have known better. Last time, they took professional photos of hot stones on my back and I could hear the click of the camera when it was happening. See photo. It turns out her mom, Dr. Qingsong Xiao, wanted to perform Chinese fire cupping** on us. I’ve never been cupped in my life, much less Chinese fire cupped! They (her mom) say it’s supposed to help draw out and eliminate pathogenic factors such as wind, cold, damp and heat. There’s also supposed to be respiratory benefits through improving lung function and reducing congestion - great for people who have nicotine related issues. Athletes are also freaks for it, if you’ve noticed.  And who are we to say no to our friend’s mom, who has a doctorate in Chinese medicine? **I went to go look up how Great Wall Chinese Medicine described traditional fire cupping and instead found this reel of what suspiciously looks like my back on their instagram. Enjoy. A little more about Dr. Qingsong Xiao… she’s got an unbelievable resume. She’s a 33rd generation Shaolin Qi Gong healer. Do you know how crazy that is? It’s give or take an 800 to 1000 year old practice, depending on how you count a generation. From my research (googling “what dynasty was around 1100 CE”), that was the Song Dynasty era of China, right before Genghis Khan conquered China. GENGHIS KHAN? Back to the cupping of it all, my friend and her mother popped them on me, went to go put the cups on my roommate, came back four minutes later and said, “Oh! That got really dark really fast.” And of course, I said the silliest thing ever in this sort of situation.  “It really can’t be that bad.” Turns out, as always, yes it can. It looked like a giant squid had risen up and enacted a personal vendetta against me.  Dr. Xiao told me that I had “a lot of fire" that she needed to draw out, and to come back in two weeks. My roommate on the other hand, had the cups on for 10 minutes and came out with barely a suction mark. I’m not even posting a photo of her because it’s embarrassing how light hers are compared to mine. Sometimes life is unfair, and your roommate has less fire inside and less wetness in her lungs, despite you living in the same place and doing many of the same activities together.  Well, I highly recommend getting Chinese fire cupped, despite looking like a squid attacked me - it suctioned all the tension and my greatest worries right out of me. The drive home was amazing. Shout out to my friend's mom and ancient China.

Southwest Winds bringing the classic game of mahjong to Phoenix For many Asian Americans, this centuries-old game was played by many of our family members while growing up, and what better way to honor the tradition by continuing it in our local cities? Across the world, the game of mahjong has become the hip new social night in places like Los Angeles , Brooklyn , Amsterdam , Toronto , and now Phoenix. This club initially began as a local friend group hosting games at their apartments. Sam Geiser , the original host of these games, brought more and more people in until the interest became too strong to host in their apartment’s shared space. I grew up around mahjong sets, and I learned that even though it is indeed a game, the titas (aunties) did not play around. This was a ladies night, so all their husbands and kids knew that they had to find something else to do as their family matriarchs indulged in friendly competition and, of course, tsismis (gossip). When Sam started these get-togethers, they had the same thing in mind. How often do we get to see our friends with such busy schedules? How often do we casually make new ones? As our weeks get full with other commitments, having a consistently set date, time, and place to meet helped us fortify the relationships we’ve built at the mahjong table. In September 2024, the Southwest Winds Mahjong Club started hosting game nights at Central Records , which is a local bar, coffee, and record shop located in the heart of Downtown Phoenix on Central Avenue and Garfield Street. The club has welcomed new players of varying experience each month, all of whom share a common goal: make friends and play mahjong. Interested in playing mahjong? The Southwest Winds Mahjong Club has an Instagram: @swwmahjong . You can keep up-to-date on their socials or swing by to Central Records every third Thursday to see the vibes. Anyone is welcome to observe, shadow a player, or just jump right into it! There’s no judgement on knowing the rules since everyone is here to learn and connect. Since March 2025, I’ve taken over hosting Southwest Winds Mahjong Club! feel free to hmu about upcoming events! :D So… how do you play mahjong? (Southwest Winds style) Four players are sitting in front of a wall of 26 tiles. The dealer of the game is decided by each player rolling a pair of dice and whoever has the highest is chosen. This person then rolls the dice again and from that number, counts the walls in a counterclockwise motion and deals the tiles out until each player has 13 and the dealer has 14. Each player looks at their tiles and decides which ones have potential to keep or dispose. The dealer starts the game by disposing of a tile. The player to their right continues, and so forth. Each player is looking to have consecutive or matching sets of tiles outlined in the images below. Since the mahjong night is just growing, this novice version of the game is the standard across the tables- without the gambling and points counting. Rest-assured, there is still lots of emotion when it comes to losing or winning the game. As players get more comfortable with each other throughout the night, the question of “whose turn is it” becomes more frequent. It’s a beautiful way of seeing the conversations flow and strangers getting to know each other. What’s next for Southwest Winds? The club meets every Third Thursday of the month at Central Records from 6:30 - 9:30 p.m. This past month, the club featured local artists SOOJUNG and kaiyvan to perform a loungey vibe to the ambiance. The keyboard and vocals duo performed songs by SOOJUNG, a song mashup of Lizzy McAlpine and Wicked, the Cranberries, and much more. The club is looking for performing artists as part of this new addition to the monthly game night. In anticipation of May’s mahjong night, the search for a lineup consisting of Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) artists is in the works.  If you’re reading this and interested in performing a DJ or vocal set, you can send a message to their Instagram! SOOJUNG and kaiyvan perform as mahjong players listen and play

I was having my weekly catch-up with my mom over the phone when she suddenly asked what I was doing that weekend. I heard a gasp on the other side as soon as I mentioned that I was going to a One Direction-themed drag brunch with a friend.   “Can I go to the next one with you?” she says after a pause. Let’s rewind to last year. I had always known I liked girls, but it was a part of myself I struggled with. It wasn’tt until after college when I started to date women and make more of a conscious effort to have queer, female friends as well. I realized I had missed out on a sense of happiness by not allowing myself to live authentically. I felt incredibly free and liberated once I made this shift. But despite discovering this remarkably free and beautiful sense of self, I encountered a roadblock: I didn’t know how to express this to my mom. If someone does not know that I am gay, then they do not know me. Today, drag as an art form continues to be something that I actively seek out and support. Phoenix offers a breadth of nightclubs and event spaces to support local drag artists, my latest favorite being Desert Ridge Improv, the host of the One Direction brunch that featured Drag Queens and Drag Kings. DRI primarily hosts stand-up acts, but by partnering with Flipphone Events, it is now home to many themed drag brunches. There is a show for everyone, from a Charli XCX-themed drag brunch to a Shrek-themed brunch. And if your schedule is free in May, you'll see me and my mom at the Selena drag brunch! Desert Ridge Improv Events Page Host of DRI Drag Brunch, Espressa Grande IG

I believe that 90% of my problems could be solved by taking a deep breath, closing my eyes, and putting the phone down. Yes, the people you sleep with or have romantic inclinations for can be all consuming in your mind. But do you know what’s making that worse? Being addicted to your phone and stalking their IG stories and Spotify playlists. BE BETTER! (Not me though I haven’t done that in ages #healed.) The question is, why do people have to watch videos while eating? Why does my roommate need to have the celebrity Great British Bakeoff in the background of everything? Why is my other roommate addicted to Youtube Shorts? Why do I know multiple people who will put on a Youtube video to eat in a restaurant, while with a group?  We’re suffering from too much stimulation, as our little minds can only handle so much. I genuinely think I need a timed lock box for my phone while I’m at work, but unfortunately, I am required to use social media - I’m between a rock and a hard place. Never get into influencer marketing or social media if you want to have a healthy screen time. How do you fix this? First off, I don’t know. Here’s what my roommates and I have tried to varying degrees of success: We’ve been trying to implement something we’re lovingly calling, “Morning Meditation,” where we sit on our balcony with no phones and nothing but each other. This has been going on for the past week or two, and it’s been quite good so far, unless it’s too close to 9 AM (when I start work). I’ll feel an innate need to check my phone and keep it nearby due to a fear of missing an important message, which defeats the whole purpose. My roommate has taken some other drastic measures by deleting Instagram and TikTok. She warns that if you do this, you will freak out in the bathroom because you have nothing to do. I’m not able to try this one as aforementioned, but when I had an internship in influencer marketing back in the day (2022), I would delete Instagram and TikTok every night and redownload it in the morning before work. This was somewhat effective because I was on a Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule, and got chunks of time away from social media.  When doing work, some friends and I have tried trading phones so that we can focus solely on the task at hand. This works extremely well when in a group of two, and has diminishing returns as more people are added. The temptation to talk is too high. I’ve added an automation to my phone that changes my screen to greyscale at 11:30 PM and back to normal at 7:30 AM. Part of the reason why it’s so hard to put the phone down is because of the colors and blue light! This is probably one of the most successful things I’ve done to help myself get better rest, but you need to have enough self control to not go into your settings and turn it off. Just a teensy bit of discipline.  Another one my roommate has tried is “microdosing on boredom,” which just means that she doesn’t listen to music all the time when doing tasks. For example, when washing her face or showering, she now does it in silence. I’ve also had a friend get rid of their Spotify Premium so that they couldn’t listen to music they wanted all the time. Personally, this has never been a huge issue for me so I can’t say whether microdosing boredom truly works or not.  PLEASE let me know if you’ve tried anything else and if it’s worked.