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JK yes clickbait. ** is AZ. *** is NYC. In light of a few members of the CR Phoenix team moving away and beginning new chapters in their lives, I thought this would be an excellent time (as a self proclaimed Arizona returnee) to reflect on what I personally didn’t realize I would miss about this state.  When I was in college, I spent an absurd amount of time in New York City, entirely for stupid reasons. The first time I went was because a friend drunkenly invited me to visit for two weeks. The second time was a 3 month stint with two other people just as crazy as me who agreed to split a one bedroom in west Harlem (Do NOT do this). The third time was the longest at 9 months, for someone I thought I was madly in love with (I also would probably not recommend this).  This is not to say I don't miss NYC - I miss it a lot. I never cared that much about the dirt and grime of the city, or the rats scurrying around in the background. Nowhere in the US, in my opinion, is as walkable. A friend of mine always says, “You know how I love when exercise is naturally implemented into your day.” I was basically hitting the stairmaster everyday out of necessity with the subways. I miss the scrappiness too… I had many a weird job. Everything was a side quest. The friends I made were so different from anyone I’d ever met. Someone I met there is childhood friends with Amaya from this past season of Love Island, which I didn’t know until he posted, “Congratzzz cousin.” Another girl I met through a friend is Lil Uzi Vert’s piercer. There’s a lot of queer joy to be found as well, so loudly celebrated. I cannot say the same for Phoenix unless you know where to go. Below: Trader Joe’s On 96th Hero Cosmetics Internship Pretending To Graduate From NYU Very Gay Cow Themed B-Day Party Crazy Haircut After Breakup & Pink Lady In The Park Marketing Internship Where The Girl From The NYU Photo Posted This Goddamn Parmesan Cheese Graphic And They Caught Us Redhanded Arizona, by contrast, is a dusty Republican dominated state with old white people shaking their fists in the air as people forget to signal while merging three lanes over to the exit on the highway. The air pollution is probably just as bad as NYC. Sometimes, Congressman Eli Crane’s call-in town halls are routed to my phone and I pick up to listen in and see what the rest of Arizona has to say. Unsurprisingly, they’re usually mad about the border.  And yet… when I came back to finish out my senior year of college, and the heat enveloped me in its devilish embrace… I felt a rush of gratitude and awe that I had never truly felt before as an entitled bitch. Everyone says they can’t wait to leave Arizona, as one does when you’ve stayed somewhere most of your life and desperately want to experience something, anything! I would never say that you shouldn’t go and explore, but remember to leave space to return. You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it. Ugh! I hate it when middle aged people reflecting on their youth are right! God, I missed the heat! When I landed in NYC, there was a BLIZZARD GOING ON! I went out in a BLIZZARD to locate the correct screws for my bedframe (my new roommate had somehow lost all of the screws) and after I had found and purchased them, I dropped them all outside of the hardware shop. That would never happen in Phoenix. Some people (Filipinos) sweat tremendously in the heat and hate it here. I (awesome lizard woman) do not sweat that much. That is why Maria Manaog, founder and Editor in Chief of Club Rambutan, moved to SF and I am still here. I love that we don’t have seasons. We have summer (extreme edition) and fall. Not many layers are needed and you save space on clothing in your bags and closets. I liked the layering for the fun, fashion experimentation aspect, but then why was I at the club looking like a grandma?  I can't even joke this was a terrible horrible day I hate admitting this, but I missed the pool. I don’t particularly like getting wet, especially not my hair, but there’s something so wonderful about clipping your hair up and wading around in a shaded pool in Arizona heat. Perhaps reading a book poolside, dipping your toes in. Hot tubs in the fall (weather is perfect for them for so many months of the year) with friends. NYC does not have easy to access pools, in fact, the Harlem pool was shut down when I lived there, to my roommate and I’s chagrin. You can go on TikTok  and see the military intensity they run their public pools by.  The valley is also known for the extreme intensity of its air conditioning. And I’m sure many have said, “But Europe doesn’t have air conditioning!” SHUT UPPPPP! This isn’t Italy! My NYC roommate and I did not even have window air conditioning because some man was supposed to purchase it for us. I got fed up at the end of June, hopped on Facebook Marketplace, found one for $50, carried it down 6 flights of stairs, reassessed my strength, and called an Uber. Then I installed it myself. Lesson learned - never trust your friend when they say a man will provide. He will not. I love central AC now with every fiber of my being. My dad keeps his house at 78 degrees in the summer and that felt like the greatest gift I had ever received when I returned. I have so many other aspects of Phoenix that I didn’t realize I loved so wholeheartedly… the dryness, how flat the city is, the highly praised street grid system, the library…having a reasonably sized closet… so many things. Most importantly, my brother was here. Frankly, I’m not a family oriented person, so this one surprised me. I don’t call my parents and they don’t call me. We’re not the sharing type. I had spent so much time away from my brother by this point - boarding school for the last two years of high school and almost all of college - that I couldn’t even fathom that he was 17. When I left for boarding school, I had been 17 myself, uncertain, horribly down in the dumps, and honestly? I didn’t give a fuck about anyone but me. The best and worst part about returning to Arizona has always been the realization that he had suddenly become a fully formed person without my consent or knowledge. If I had gone back to NYC like I originally planned after graduating early, I would have never truly known my brother. What a shame that would have been! He’s really quite a nice boy. He just turned 20 and is a much less selfish person than I was at 20, so I have high hopes for him at 25.  Below : My brother in 2017 vs 2023. I legitimately could only find this stupid photo where he was pretending to take a photo of me but instead took a selfie. I remember he stopped by my apartment sometime last year and someone told me, “You can tell that he really loves you.” And while I am sure he would have loved me even when far, far away, in a way you’re taught to love the family you don’t see very often, it’s much more tangible now. I know I can borrow his Subaru to retrieve a giant piece of furniture I found on Facebook Marketplace. He knows he can call me for things that don’t concern all of y’all. Not trying to air out his business in my article…  Anyways, heat, pools, AC and my brother - there’s my Arizona quartet that I didn’t realize I missed. One of my crazy and fondly remembered ex-roommates (I actually still live with her) said to add, “The rain in Arizona smells good. The rain in NYC smells like fish.” So, to all you Arizona rain lovers out there, beware New York City. It smells like fish (and dreams! if you believe Alicia Keys).

Soooo I classify myself as an “expert comfort watcher.” It’s in my Letterboxd bio and everything. Cinephile is a big word, but do I love film? Yes, undoubtedly. So terribly much. I grew up constantly surrounded by films, and the cinema will always be a magical place for me (heyy Nicole Kidman…). But I have this weird thing where I’m scared to watch new movies. Sometimes I call it my “big movie fear.” Stories have had such a large impact on my life, and have essentially raised me, forming my morals and ethics…so when I sit down to watch a new movie I have a feeling I’d love? I get scared. I get scared of the journey that awaits me, because I know how powerful this medium is, and how much it impacts me emotionally. I guess you could call it the love of the game? So I comfort watch, quite a lot. But I feel like sometimes comfort watching gets a bad rap. Yes, I understand the argument that there’s so much more art out there to experience. I feel hungry and overwhelmed by wanting to consume all of it , all the time . Why spend your time “comfort watching”? You’re preventing yourself from experiencing new ideas, new inspirations… I get it. TRUST ME, I get it. You don’t need to tell me how many cult classic films I NEED to watch that I haven’t.  For a while, I think this feeling instilled a lot of shame in me. Somewhere along the way, I started shaming myself for watching the same movies from my childhood over and over again as an adult. But that didn’t lead me to watch more new movies, just fewer movies overall.  But I used to rewatch the SAME movies with my sister every single day after getting back home from school. My biggest flex used to be that I could recite the entire first Harry Potter film and probably most of the others (I still can, but it’s a shame J.K. Rowling is simply a massive transphobe ). I can also recite almost the entire second A Cinderella Story with young Selena Gomez (MAARYYY BUBBLES NOW!), and reenact the iconic one-sided mirror choreography she does with Drew Seeley (heavy breathing and all).  I still find myself craving (many) reruns of all the classic Barbie animated films, of which my favorites were Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses, Swan Lake, Princess Charm School, Diamond Castle, Fairytopia (all of them), Mariposa– the list goes on. I did a rewatch of A Fairy Secret and both Mermaid Tale s with my friends on a trip recently, and it brought me so much joy. Some comfort TV watches for me are Gossip Girl, The Vampire Diaries, Pretty Little Liars, Downton Abbey, and BBC’s Merlin. And I think like many of us, one of my most formative reading eras was the age of the dystopian young adult novel! I kid you not–I probably rewatch all The Hunger Games films at least once or twice a year, as well as Divergent, The Twilight Saga, and many of the others. But if I take a deeper look into why I rewatch these movies so often, it comes from a few simple truths. Besides the fact that these books–these stories–kept me company when I was lonely, and instilled some of the greatest morals and values I still hold today, these stories just bring me back to that place: childhood. Rewatching The Hunger Games brings me back to 5th grade, when I voraciously read all 3 books within 4/5 days. Watching Divergent takes me back to its premiere in theaters–I was closing out 6th grade with my friend, hearing Ellie Goulding blare out the end-credits song and exiting the theater feeling dauntless. Every childhood Christmas or New Years was cozily spent watching Harry Potter and fireworks with my sisters. My sister and I would sit down and rewatch a movie almost every single day after getting back from school. We just would. And we didn’t feel any shame about it.  To me, that’s the hidden power of comfort watching. It reminds you of the inner child within. It really is like therapy for your younger self, allowing the joy of indulging in comfort for the sake of it – transporting you to a time where you didn’t have reason yet to feel shame about what you liked, what you disliked, how you spent your time, or your day. Before you were saddled with responsibility, or before you underwent formative trauma, or before you experienced the pieces of media or art helped you through those moments. It’s a recognition of self, of our purest child self that we carry with us everywhere. That we are still those children, and those children are still us. We still make decisions based on that little kid’s desires all the time. And sometimes we should!  We really should!! Why are we holding ourselves back from joy ? Why do we feel less deserving of indulgence, or fun? Why are we postponing our own happiness? Why do we feel bad for leaning into the things that brought us joy as children, or the things that bring us childlike joy now? And it doesn’t have to take the form of comfort watching, but I think it’s worthwhile to follow your intuition to do anything that helps you remember the child you once were–and still are. We are all the ages we’ve ever been, and comfort doesn’t have to be harder to come by just because we’re older. As adults, we have narratives constantly coming from every direction telling us who we should be, what we should be doing, and how we should be spending our time. But we don’t have to shame ourselves for wanting to listen to the quiet, inner whisperings of our child selves. So little Maris wants you to know that you can rewatch the same movie every day or the same youtube video, play that old video game, search for that old bakery smell, make as many cups of matcha as you want, or hang onto your childhood pillow till it falls apart. No matter how many times you want to watch it, or how many times you need to, the only person you need permission from is your adult—and non-adult—self. <3

My honest review of the West Coast Craft Waves Vintage Market My perfect Saturday? Going to San Francisco on a sunny day (very rare in July for us in the Bay Area) and (window) shopping for vintage must-haves. I went to theWest Coast Craft Waves VintageMarket in Fort Mason, so you didn’t have to, and here’s my honest review.  For context,  earlier this year, I started to get really bored with my closet. I was uninspired when it came to creating an outfit, which was a feeling I haven’t felt in a while. For me, getting dressed is much more than just grabbing a random top I feel comfortable in -- I’m very intentional with the pieces I choose to wear. Not to be pretentious, but when I wear pieces that make me feel good, it makes going about my day easier. So, I had cleaned out over half of my entire wardrobe. This feeling stemmed from the crazy amount of clothes I had accumulated that I no longer touched (you can read more about the importance of curating your own style here ).  I’ve been slowly rebuilding my closet with quality pieces that offer longevity, timelessness, and, of course, that resonate with me.   Here are some of the things I have been looking for:  Accessories. Thinksterling silver and gold jewelry, eclectic satin scarves, funky sunglasses, and artisanal rings. Purses. I have a BIG vintage purse collection (even after I downsized) and want to lean more into collecting more vintage designer, now that I have the financial means to. Clothes .  Quality, versatile basics, as well as fun, bold statement pieces.  The WCC Wave Vintage Market was in the Gateway Pavilion at Fort Mason in San Francisco, being one of the many artisanal and vintage fashion markets that have been hosted there. The market was huge, with over 100+ booths of curated vintage clothing, furniture, jewelry, and anything else you can think of. It was a little overwhelming because of how many people there were, but it was still a great time! There were two floors to explore. The ground floor was mostly vintage fashion in mint condition (and unfortunately, way out of my price range). But I had fun sifting through the racks and putting my Anna Wintour face on. I appreciated that many of the designer-specific booths were curated with great love and care. Here were some of my personal vintage standouts:   Many of the displays and presentations were curated intentionally, and it also felt like I was walking through a museum, just as much as it was a shopping experience.  There were soooo many racks of clothing - from coats and jackets that were to die for to the funkiest silk scarves and ties! Rows and rows of the cutest heels and shoes, straight from Carrie Bradshaw’s closet. I ultimately knew I would be window shopping for the most part, as oftentimes curated vintage markets tend to be on the expensive side. My rule is that if there is an item that I absolutely cannot leave on the rack and isn’t unreasonably pricey, I can buy it. However, for me, looking at the condition of the item and fabric composition to deduce whether the pricing is fair is important because I have learned that many vintage resellers often upsell poor-quality items.   Sometimes polyester can look cute…but don’t fall for it! There was one booth that had a huge crowd. Curious, I went over and the seller had oneof the most beautiful collections of vintage jewelry -- it was every IT girl’s dream . I was looking for accessories, specifically artisanal and handcrafted jewelry that will not tarnish over time. I was at this booth for almost 30 minutes just looking through all of the pieces; there was a section with just vintage watches and watch bracelets. I came across the most beautiful watch bracelet, which had silver hardware with colorful gem-like jewels forming a bracelet brand. It was definitely a statement piece and would have been a wonderful addition to my jewelry collection…but I couldn’t justify the price tag. But it’s okay!  Now I’m on the lookout for watch accessories (which wasn’t ever really on my radar before) — which is why I think window shopping at markets like this is important in gaining inspiration.  Overall, the WCC Vintage Market was a cool experience, and I don’t regret going. I bought two pieces of jewelry: a gold “T” initial necklace with silver jewels, a pastel jeweled gold bracelet, and a black, backless - off-the-shoulder top. Candidly speaking, the price points for many of the booths were on the higher end. For curated, high-quality vintage and handcrafted artisanal pieces, these prices are definitely justified.  But in my opinion, I draw the line when sellers attempt to sell lower-grade garments at insane prices in the name of Y2K. I saw a “baby tee” that was upsold at $40 when it was definitely intended for toddlers. With that being said, would I pay $80 for a polyester Y2K top? Absolutely not ! But I still walked away from the Wave Vintage Market feeling content, gained fashion inspiration, and a new wardrobe must-have: vintage watch bracelets.